Son is homeless 33?years old


Staff member
I received the following message from Roo

I don’t know what to do I live with my dad I had a bad relationship and I had to leave it from Florida to come back to Colorado and in between that time my mom passed away of cancer I was with her when she died before I left which was the beginning of 2017 my two oldest sons me and my mom live together. The two oldest ones that lived at home did not wanna work I was working two jobs I don’t have a car so I was taking buses all over my mom was working she was 73 years old and it went on for years and years and years and if I said anything that was always a fight so once I had the opportunity to leave I did and I went to Florida and It got bad there I had a relationship with somebody that was considered a narcissist in between that time my oldest son moved in with somebody the second oldest which is one that’s out on the street went to Oklahoma with his family started doing math they kicked him out he came back to Colorado he’s been living in a field for a year he was living in my car for three months during the winter season last year it was a fight every day he pushed me he tried to hit me I don’t know what to do I wash his clothes a give him money if he needs a little bit he was an avid smoker of pot for 20 years And now there’s something that affects your stomach if you’ve been a smoker for that many years it makes you throw up makes you sick so now he can’t smoke it any longer so he’s massively depressed he saying he’s suicidal. I live with my dad I pay half of the water and half of electricity he doesn’t make me pay rent he let my son live here for a couple days and my son was smoking pot at that time but he was belligerent to my dad my dad kicked him out. This is been going on for about a year I don’t know what to do I can’t live with him because he gets a job he quits it. I feel bad because I can’t expect him to keep a job living outside I take him to a truck stop to take a shower I wash his clothes I don’t know how to help him I feel like I’m letting him down I don’t know what to do I guess the most issues I have or just knowing that he’s living in a field so how can I expect them to work anybody have any suggestions I don’t know what to do


Well-Known Member
Hi. I am so sorry that you have had such a hard time and I am sorry about your son. I have a daughter a lot like your son and we made a lot of mistakes with her. One of them o was helping her too much. We did not want her to be homeless do we bought shelter, cars, gave money etc. She destroyed even the house we paid for and would not get a job to pay utilities so we sold the house and bought her a small mobile home. She and her crazy husband (they are both violent) got thrown out of the park and they had destroyed that too. So we put deposits down on apartments and they kept getting evicted and wouldn't work or pay utilities. Meanwhile our retirement money had been gutted.

We got into Al Anon and therapy. Kay was a constant pot smoker too. And still never worked. she was 30 and very entitled. And scary. The help we got made us able to quit enabling her and to live a good life in spite of her not living a good life. We stopped helping her. Our "help" had NOT helped her. I think you are doing plenty for a kid who puts his hands on you, is rude, and won't work. I think you need to worry more about YOU and let HIM figure things out.

Please don't wait for ten years to get help for YOU. Al Anon and Nar Anon are really good. Therapy is also helpful. We were feeling guilty and almost gave her all our money. And it hurt her. And hurt us. Please get help.

Prayers and hugs.


Well-Known Member
I am so sorry. That sounds like a lot to worry about. I agree with everything Busy said. My son got sober after I quit enabling and I was better even if he wasn't.