Son is out.

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Littleboylost, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    My husband finally had enough. My son sent a text to me by accident last night arranging drug deals. It didn't pan out because no one had a ride. Big deal he is using still and more than weed! And he is clearly still dealing.

    Husband asked him for a urine test. It was a Mexican stand off for 6 hours!! He brought cold apple juice, and then warm water and pop!! I drank the warm water and pop right in front of him. Husband said no drug test you can not be in our home. He is clearly on something and was hurling all the usual insults.

    He is threatening to call the authorities. In Ontario they can leave at 16 but you can't throw them out until there 18. He will be 18 in Oct. Told him straight up go ahead call the police we have the text we will show the police and say we fear for our safety. Show them the family contract and his signature. He shoved me and barricaded me in his room. My husband had to intervene to get him to back off.

    He can call a kids crisis line and get emergency housing and then get support for a subsedized living situation.

    He asked us to drop him off downtown so we did. He said see you later....my husband said pal your not coming back home this is it. He just sneered and laughed and said we will see about that.

    He is not coming back into our home! I know we will have a fight on our hands at some point today. Say prayers and give us strength. My husband is a train wreck. I need to keep him strong and focused. This kid will lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate. He is not ready to get clean.

    I feel sick to my stomach.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Many good wishes.

    I thought daughter was just smoking pot too. How they fool us! She was snorting many drugs, mainly cocaine and meth. And dummy us...we didnt guess. My daughter was only a little older when we came home early from a vacation and found her having a pill party. And we had her leave.

    Cried for three weeks. More. Every night. Missed her.. she was sweet even on drugs.

    It was a long time ago but this is something you never ever forget...so keep posting. We are with you.

    Remember, he is still young. in my opinion big advantage.

    Love and support from the Universe!
     
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  3. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    I am trying to stay strong and focused. It's not easy. Yes he is young and he is sweet ....when he wants to be and it's all manipulation. Sick to my stomach hands shaking. I really hate this.
     
  4. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Your husband has finally gotten on the same page as you. That will carry you forward through this nightmare. I am so sorry. You may want to contact a lawyer to make sure you can keep him out. Keep us posted.

    What he did to you - shoving you, barricading you in his room - has got to be some kind of crime. Forcible restraint, kidnapping and possibly assault are charges that come to my mind. Are you willing to have him arrested for putting his hands on you?
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  5. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Culturana We had him arrested in May for possession of pot and cocaine. I will do what I have to to make it clear to him that this is not how we live and he can not live with us until he chooses to be clean. He is known to the police for selling drugs, trespassing and other law infractions and disturbances. I doubt they will do anything to help him. If I need him arrested I will do it.
     
  6. mamato3

    mamato3 Member

    Oh, littleboylost, my heart breaks for you. I will be praying for your strength, and your husband's, too.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  7. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Littleboylost:

    So sorry to hear this as you know. I was pulling for you.

    Try to remember this is HIS journey. Everything happens for a reason - that is what my son's program director said to me when I was freaking out all last week.

    Please try to take care of yourself. Try not to let this consume you. I'm talking from experience because I am there right now also.

    My son is alone in Florida and will easily be on the street if he doesn't do what they say.

    Remember self-compassion. Be good to yourself. You cannot control him. He is too big and an adult.

    So happy hubby is on your page. That will make a world of difference in this. Glad he came around.

    I know exactly how you feel right now. HUGS.
     
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  8. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    The question I am struggling with right now is to I cancel his phone plan? He is using his phone to deal drugs. But if I cancel it he has no way of communicating with any one including couselors. I just don't know what to do about this. My heart breaks for him. I did not yell at him I said it must be awful for you and I am sorry you want to love this way.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  9. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    I can not express how much strength this forum has given me. And my husband also. He is here silently observing and gaining strength from all of you. I need a crisis meeting with our therapist. Calling tomoorw. Today is a holiday or I would be calling right now.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  10. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Just hold on. You don't have to do everything at this very moment!

    Just breath.....
     
  11. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Soo sad
     
  12. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    I am heart broken with you!

    They are not lovable in active addiction. Your call on the phone, but many feel better that they can contact help or you if they are in trouble. He needs a wake up call..I pray it comes soon.

    SO hard...focus on staying strong and healthy..so if you do need to help you will be ready.

    You are a very strong and loving Mom.

    But I laughed out loud when you drank "his sample", they think we are idiots!!!

    :group-hug:
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  13. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Mof can you believe he said "O can't believe you drank my pee". Really?! The denial is strong with this one that's for damn sure. I am a hard ass old trauma nurse. I think I know pee when I see it.
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  14. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    He just sent a text saying he isn't on drugs. I said great let's pick you up and get a blood sample if all clear all good....no reply.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  15. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Your son has options. You don't have options. There are no programs for law abiding parents who do not want to harbor a drug dealer/user.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • List
  16. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Nope, they are never on drugs. We somehow dream up this crap.
     
  17. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Once he knows your sticking to your guns about drug test, he will turn on the tears and say i relapsed i need help whay whay
     
  18. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    And all good then out patient rehab is not for him and he needs to go into detox and in patient rehab.
     
  19. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    AS texted no where to go. I put him in a cheap motel for tonight. So he can not declare we put him out on the streets. He is not coming back home. I said tomorrow you can sort out a hostel or a shelter. Can't come home. He said "How will I get to work". Good question I don't know. I can't sleep I feel so horrible. What races through my mind is there are so many so much worse than he is. That doesn't justify his behaviour bad enough is bad enough!

    He was gas lighting saying I don't do drugs I gave you 2 urine samples, then said he wished I had aborted him and I was a real f&&! Up as a mother.

    I will have to call his bail officer tomorrow and report that he is not living with us any more. I am so tired of this crap. Will it ever end!!!
     
  20. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    He will get nasty now that hes not getting his way. Yes call his bail officer, let them deal with him and hes behavior.