Id be shocked if a court makes you house a drug dealer with all the dangers that come with that. You are not safe with him there. Let the courts deal with him. Such bs! I feel for you
Thank you wiser. I go through a gambit of emotions about this. I feel in my heart this is the right thing to do as he is manipulating and not facing his issues. He refuses to see he has a problem at all. I do feel the drugs mixed with the Conduct Disorder have his thinking all messed up. He is truly ugly when he is using and craving drugs. We have seen what lengths he will go to to lie about his addiction. Thank you for the suggestions and support. The part that really bothers me is he is 100% on his own. There are no grandparents or family to step in and support him. You are right there are resources. He needs to tap into them.yes he will up the ante. I am from Ontario. He can get emergency welfare and there are many shelters around as well as places that feed these kids. In our previous life our family used to volunteer together at Out of the Cold making meals and serving the homeless. I used to say there is a very fine line that separates our lots in life between having a home or not and much of it is based on choices. How ironic that my own son now frequents many of these spots. Stay strong, take one day at a time. Him barricading you in his room is a form of violence. It will get worse if you don't set your boundaries now and stick to them. Hugs and strength to you and hubby. these are turbulent waters but they will calm eventually.
Thanks so kindly Albi I made myself eat dinner ....shouldn't have. The pain and angst we feel that they will never comprehend! I did turn my ringer for him off and the notifcation for his texts. Tough nut husband is standing firm in support of this move.I'm so sorry you are going thru this, LBL.
This is easy for me to say and apparently quite hard for me to do, since I let son move back so many times before I finally had enough...
BUT, for what it's worth, I wish we hadn't. So this is just my opinion -- You told him what would happen if he was involved in drugs. He chose to be involved in drugs, so it happened. He has no right to beg for anything. If he wants help, send him info on agencies that provide it, then turn off the phone.
I am cycling between keeping my poop in a group and breaking down into puddles of tears. It is was it is. He is not ready to address his issues or change. Not by a long shot.LBL, you are bad ! I'm glad you drew out trauma nurse Ratchet for this drama. Cope with the drama and then fall apart later; it's the only way to handle the truly difficult moments in life.
Many warm hugs for your aching heart. He will survive. He will survive. . .
As predicted, he is finding a way to survive. Stay strong, cry your tears, let your husband hold you and you hold him. Stick together. You are doing this to save his life. He will end up overdosing in your home otherwise, stealing from you and lying to you along the way.Just heading into work. Son begging to come home I turned my phone off for his calls and texts. He sent a message this morning saying he is all settled in to a Bun Camp. No clue what that is it probably an illegal camp of sorts. I just said gal story safe and told him he better clear that with his bail officer. I feel sick to my stomach but it is what it is. He is still manipulating. Where ever he is now has wifi his text switched to I message, only does that on WiFi
Thank you I need strength right now. The insceant begging and promising is so horrible.As predicted, he is finding a way to survive. Stay strong, cry your tears, let your husband hold you and you hold him. Stick together. You are doing this to save his life. He will end up overdosing in your home otherwise, stealing from you and lying to you along the way.
Years from now he will thank you for this.
TeriobeId be shocked if a court makes you house a drug dealer with all the dangers that come with that. You are not safe with him there. Let the courts deal with him. Such bs! I feel for you
Hi Colleen BI am so sorry.... I can't imagine ( or I can) how upset you and your husband must be right now.
I don't have any great wisdom as we really don't have a clue if how we are handling our sons addiction is "the right way" but I do understand your pain and your feelings of total helplessness....
Even when I knew he was dealing ( and he probably still is) I decided to keep his phone. We tried that for a few months , he was living out at the time and I was losing so much sleep thinking he was dead or in trouble and couldn't get ahold of us... he also has depression/ anxiety and we have lost a friends son to suicide in the last few years... I was a wreck, couldn't sleep at all. That's when I decided to always pay his phone. I needed to be able to know he was at least alive. He usually will always respond and let me know.
Something he said to me a few months back on the day I took him to detox was " how did I come from a home like this and turn out like this?" It's a question I ask almost daily.... how did it all go so wrong? I see others his age and younger doing so well, and it actually hurts my heart. He was here yesterday for supper and he looks so sad and so not healthy. I don't have any idea how much he is using. He could be in full blown addiction for all I know, or he could be suffering from severe depression..... I can't tell the difference anymore. I worry everyday is the day I get a visit from police.
I pray for peace for you and your husband. This is a hell I would wish on no one... ever...