Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
son laying guilt - he's great at it!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 679430" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree with Walrus.</p><p></p><p>I believe these "conversations" with him are destructive to you and not helpful to him although he may feel satisfied that he is able to hurt you and to stick it to you.</p><p></p><p>There really is nothing to talk about anymore. The same stuff keeps getting repeated and recycled. The reality seems to be that he is slow to mature and you feel guilty. </p><p></p><p>I think you and I both are trying to work out things in our difficult past through our kids. Your son is wrong. </p><p></p><p>He was not hurt by your past. You were. We hoped to redeem ourselves through our kids. What we missed in our own lives we wanted to give and to get with our children.</p><p></p><p>For a long time, this worked. When it stops working, we begin to wonder if it was us. When our kids want to be cruel, they milk this.</p><p></p><p>It is not true. All of this has to do with your son's mis-steps. Face it. There is not one thing you can do or should do. Stop talking about it with him. </p><p></p><p>He will work things out or not. </p><p></p><p>The key here is what everybody tries to tell me: set boundaries and observe them; take care of myself; the behavior and choices of my son now have nothing in the world to do with me. And the most important thing: think of and build my life apart from my son. For myself.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 679430, member: 18958"] I agree with Walrus. I believe these "conversations" with him are destructive to you and not helpful to him although he may feel satisfied that he is able to hurt you and to stick it to you. There really is nothing to talk about anymore. The same stuff keeps getting repeated and recycled. The reality seems to be that he is slow to mature and you feel guilty. I think you and I both are trying to work out things in our difficult past through our kids. Your son is wrong. He was not hurt by your past. You were. We hoped to redeem ourselves through our kids. What we missed in our own lives we wanted to give and to get with our children. For a long time, this worked. When it stops working, we begin to wonder if it was us. When our kids want to be cruel, they milk this. It is not true. All of this has to do with your son's mis-steps. Face it. There is not one thing you can do or should do. Stop talking about it with him. He will work things out or not. The key here is what everybody tries to tell me: set boundaries and observe them; take care of myself; the behavior and choices of my son now have nothing in the world to do with me. And the most important thing: think of and build my life apart from my son. For myself. COPA [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
son laying guilt - he's great at it!
Top