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Substance Abuse
Son left Florida
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 762411" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Helpless</p><p></p><p>Please enjoy your vacation. I always wanted to go to the Dells.</p><p></p><p>You know you have no control, no role, and no place to stand in your son's life, as he is living it now.</p><p></p><p>Your son has many gifts. And for his young age, he has had a vast amount of experience. He is well aware of his talents and his strengths. And he is well aware that he has had a great deal of support. He knows now, that recovery is within his grasp, and he knows how to access it. What I am trying to say here, is that he has all of the tools, the information, and the personal resources to help himself, when he decides.</p><p></p><p>The ball is in your court now, as it is in my own. Let me explain what I mean.</p><p></p><p>For all too long, I saw the problem of "my son" in him. I am now seeing that all along the problem has been in me. How I become disorganized and panic when I can't control him.</p><p></p><p>Gee whizz. What a surprise that I can't control another adult. I had a very difficult childhood with parents that were beyond the pale. When my son grew up I became triggered by him, when his behavior reminded me of my childhood, much of which I had tried to suppress. I only caught on to the full scope of this dynamic recently.</p><p></p><p>I think this is what our children do to us. They don't mean it. It's that we love them so much. They're tied into our guts so to speak. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, please have compassion for yourself. You are a wonderful and loving mother. A good and decent woman. Forgive yourself for being a human being. I will try too. Love Copa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 762411, member: 18958"] Dear Helpless Please enjoy your vacation. I always wanted to go to the Dells. You know you have no control, no role, and no place to stand in your son's life, as he is living it now. Your son has many gifts. And for his young age, he has had a vast amount of experience. He is well aware of his talents and his strengths. And he is well aware that he has had a great deal of support. He knows now, that recovery is within his grasp, and he knows how to access it. What I am trying to say here, is that he has all of the tools, the information, and the personal resources to help himself, when he decides. The ball is in your court now, as it is in my own. Let me explain what I mean. For all too long, I saw the problem of "my son" in him. I am now seeing that all along the problem has been in me. How I become disorganized and panic when I can't control him. Gee whizz. What a surprise that I can't control another adult. I had a very difficult childhood with parents that were beyond the pale. When my son grew up I became triggered by him, when his behavior reminded me of my childhood, much of which I had tried to suppress. I only caught on to the full scope of this dynamic recently. I think this is what our children do to us. They don't mean it. It's that we love them so much. They're tied into our guts so to speak. Anyway, please have compassion for yourself. You are a wonderful and loving mother. A good and decent woman. Forgive yourself for being a human being. I will try too. Love Copa [/QUOTE]
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