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Son says he's miserable
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 685639" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Me neither, can't say.</p><p> When you say "our plan" was that his plan too? I can understand why you would set out to plan for his sobriety. Lord knows I want the same for my two. But, WSM, <em>they have to want it too.</em> I hope he will change his mind, but it does seem that a lot hinges on his girlfriend for him.</p><p> I don't know what to think about this. It is kind of tail turning for a drug addict to be manipulated by someone else.........so his 30 days are almost up and he is counting down to come home. Maybe you should ask the <em>interventionist to talk with your son</em>, <em>it was his idea to tell him 30 days in the first place.</em>........</p><p>Again, I could see where the hope would be that he goes through detox into rehab and wants to be clean, so he stays and<em> buys into the plan</em>. But, HE has to buy into the plan. I wish that we could get our d cs to see the light by desperately wanting them to. Then all of this would be an easy fix. Unfortunately, they have free will, and free choice. Ouch WSM. I hope something happens between now and May 2nd to change his mind.</p><p> I get red flags too. It seems it would have been much smoother if the girl went with her family, got clean herself. But this hasn't happened.......</p><p> Did you say in the beginning you would bring him home after 30 days? This is where it gets kind of muddy for me. It's because our word, is our word. If there were promises made, I don't know. It is a sticky situation if he only agreed to be there for 30 days and thought he was coming home. Then, will his father end up caving and buying the ticket? You do not have much control here, as your son is adult aged. I don't think rehab can hold him against his will?</p><p>WSM, you took the big step, did an intervention and tried to get help for your son. Ultimately, sobriety has to be<em> his choice. </em>I hope this is what he chooses, but whether it is or not, you have the rest of your life to live. Our lives cannot depend on the choices of our kids. I know it really hurts to see your son in the shape he was in. I have to see my Rain, much the same, homeless, on meth, hanging around meth users. It is very sad. I cannot make her see her own value, and how much she has to live for. I can only try to show her by living my life to the fullest. I m sorry WSM, for the pain of all of this. It is so very frustrating and heartbreaking. I am praying your son will have a change of mind. Until then you have some time to work on you. To think about what the rest of your life looks like.</p><p></p><p>My two are the same. It is because I am the "tough" one. It is the <em>drugs talking</em>. Until they are ready to look in the mirror and take responsibility for their own choices, I expect to be hearing more of the same malarky.</p><p>It is bull<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/poop.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":poop:" title="poop :poop:" data-shortname=":poop:" />.</p><p></p><p>Did I make mistakes parenting, heck yah, I am human.</p><p>So are you.</p><p>It is not your fault that your son made bad choices. Do not let him put that on you.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry that I do not have answers for you, WSM. This is a very tough spot.</p><p>Prayers going up that your son gives it another chance and wants to stay and go to sober living.</p><p>The only thing you can do is take it one day at a time and work on building yourself up.</p><p>The only person you have control over is yourself.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 685639, member: 19522"] Me neither, can't say. When you say "our plan" was that his plan too? I can understand why you would set out to plan for his sobriety. Lord knows I want the same for my two. But, WSM, [I]they have to want it too.[/I] I hope he will change his mind, but it does seem that a lot hinges on his girlfriend for him. I don't know what to think about this. It is kind of tail turning for a drug addict to be manipulated by someone else.........so his 30 days are almost up and he is counting down to come home. Maybe you should ask the [I]interventionist to talk with your son[/I], [I]it was his idea to tell him 30 days in the first place.[/I]........ Again, I could see where the hope would be that he goes through detox into rehab and wants to be clean, so he stays and[I] buys into the plan[/I]. But, HE has to buy into the plan. I wish that we could get our d cs to see the light by desperately wanting them to. Then all of this would be an easy fix. Unfortunately, they have free will, and free choice. Ouch WSM. I hope something happens between now and May 2nd to change his mind. I get red flags too. It seems it would have been much smoother if the girl went with her family, got clean herself. But this hasn't happened....... Did you say in the beginning you would bring him home after 30 days? This is where it gets kind of muddy for me. It's because our word, is our word. If there were promises made, I don't know. It is a sticky situation if he only agreed to be there for 30 days and thought he was coming home. Then, will his father end up caving and buying the ticket? You do not have much control here, as your son is adult aged. I don't think rehab can hold him against his will? WSM, you took the big step, did an intervention and tried to get help for your son. Ultimately, sobriety has to be[I] his choice. [/I]I hope this is what he chooses, but whether it is or not, you have the rest of your life to live. Our lives cannot depend on the choices of our kids. I know it really hurts to see your son in the shape he was in. I have to see my Rain, much the same, homeless, on meth, hanging around meth users. It is very sad. I cannot make her see her own value, and how much she has to live for. I can only try to show her by living my life to the fullest. I m sorry WSM, for the pain of all of this. It is so very frustrating and heartbreaking. I am praying your son will have a change of mind. Until then you have some time to work on you. To think about what the rest of your life looks like. My two are the same. It is because I am the "tough" one. It is the [I]drugs talking[/I]. Until they are ready to look in the mirror and take responsibility for their own choices, I expect to be hearing more of the same malarky. It is bull:poop:. Did I make mistakes parenting, heck yah, I am human. So are you. It is not your fault that your son made bad choices. Do not let him put that on you. I am sorry that I do not have answers for you, WSM. This is a very tough spot. Prayers going up that your son gives it another chance and wants to stay and go to sober living. The only thing you can do is take it one day at a time and work on building yourself up. The only person you have control over is yourself. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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