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Substance Abuse
Son says he's miserable
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 685729" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>You are worried about betraying him? You would be saving him. Not to mention that he has betrayed you by letting you work to support him while he is lying to you about his drug use.</p><p></p><p>I found this in one of your old posts:</p><p></p><p></p><p>You don't owe him anything! He is 22-years-old and living with his druggie girlfriend and you are enabling him by supporting him.</p><p></p><p>I know this sounds harsh but I know what I am talking about because I was once where you are now. I thought I had to find the way to fix my daughter and I finally learned that I had to get out of the way so she could fix herself even if it made her hate me.</p><p></p><p>You have given your son a tremendous gift of a treatment program and a chance for recovery. Now, you need to leave it up to his therapists and interventionist. When my daughter would tell me how unhappy she was or tell me stories (untrue) about the rehab center, her therapist would always tell me to turn it back on her. The therapist said to direct my daughter back to her therapist or sponsor when she needed emotional support or had complaints/problems.</p><p></p><p>Have you read <em>Codependant No More</em> by Melody Beattie? It is a great book to help you learn that you are enmeshed in your adult child's life and how to unentangle yourself. Another book that was very helpful for me was <em>Don't Let Your Kids Kill You</em> by Charles Rubin. It was written for parents of adult children with substance abuse issues.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 685729, member: 1967"] You are worried about betraying him? You would be saving him. Not to mention that he has betrayed you by letting you work to support him while he is lying to you about his drug use. I found this in one of your old posts: You don't owe him anything! He is 22-years-old and living with his druggie girlfriend and you are enabling him by supporting him. I know this sounds harsh but I know what I am talking about because I was once where you are now. I thought I had to find the way to fix my daughter and I finally learned that I had to get out of the way so she could fix herself even if it made her hate me. You have given your son a tremendous gift of a treatment program and a chance for recovery. Now, you need to leave it up to his therapists and interventionist. When my daughter would tell me how unhappy she was or tell me stories (untrue) about the rehab center, her therapist would always tell me to turn it back on her. The therapist said to direct my daughter back to her therapist or sponsor when she needed emotional support or had complaints/problems. Have you read [I]Codependant No More[/I] by Melody Beattie? It is a great book to help you learn that you are enmeshed in your adult child's life and how to unentangle yourself. Another book that was very helpful for me was [I]Don't Let Your Kids Kill You[/I] by Charles Rubin. It was written for parents of adult children with substance abuse issues. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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Son says he's miserable
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