son thinking everyone is out to get him...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Matty's Mummy, Jul 25, 2011.

  1. Matty's Mummy

    Matty's Mummy Member

    7yr old again.
    He seems to think we are all bad well he says we are. “you are all mean, this is a terrible family for me...”
    So tonight he has just came out not able to sleep, telling me he was daydreaming at night, he said “I was at the river with Dad and younger brother, I threw dads sunglasses into the river, then I pushed Dad in” he was crying and really upset. So I was thinking he was upset because he was having bad thoughts and figured it’s Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) like how people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) have bad thoughts of hurting themselves or others and then the person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is horrified and scared that they could think such terrible things.
    Then I said to him, “well you don’t want to hurt Dad it was just something like a dream when you are awake”
    He said ‘no the water was deep” then he burst into tears again. I said to him, “oh so you are worried cause Dad might not get out of the water”, and he said yes.
    Then I said ‘you dont want to hurt Dad so dont worry” he said “I do hurt you” I said “No you dont” he said “yes I hit you and stuff” he has hit me. And then he said and you are all mean to me, I do want to hurt you, then he stopped crying an had a kind of wired smirk and walked off.
    So was that the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) type and then he was just being a smart ass when he smirked and walked off or is it more?
    This morning and most mornings, leaving for school is a drama, he never wants to go... then we recorded the show he was watching we were on our way walking to school, he starts telling me how mean I am and then when I said “well you have to go to school” he yelled at me to shut up. I told him not to speck to me like that and so he didn’t talk to me at all walked into school and didnt’ say goodbye nothing, I didn’t chase after him for that goodbye either. He was fine after school all was forgotten...
    Also a friend asked me just last week, if I though my son was thinking that her child sets out to upset him. I said yes I do think that and I think that our son thinks we are all only about making his life hell. We are a pretty laid back relaxed family. Sure I can yell when he is yelling at me, but he is the only child at home that is like this.
    He seems to think our whole purpose in life is to annoy him. L
    It’s late at night here, I am away for two day if I can log in at the motel I will so pls send me messages as I might be able to read and not reply.
    I’m thinking we need serious help, but than again I dont want to read more into it than what it might be.
  2. Matty's Mummy

    Matty's Mummy Member

    I'm ust going Occupational Therapist (OT) sit here refreshing for the next hour before bed :(
  3. jennd23

    jennd23 New Member

    I don't know what to tell you about his day dream but I have the same problem with the thinking I'm out to get him. Even just this morning when it was time to get dressed, time to get in the car, etc. According to him I'm so mean, I hate him, I don't even love him. All these things that would break your heart.....if they didn't happen every day.

    The first few times this DID break my heart but now I know its just manipulation to get what he wants. He knows I love him, and he knows I am not out to get him, but some moments everything is all about him and if its not going his way, its everyone else's fault. I think some of this is "normal" for our kids, but what do I know, really? :)
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    The dream/thought thing sounds EXACTLY like both my girls. It's called intrusive thoughts. Generally more associated with anxiety and depression than with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (although Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a branch of anxiety) My girls, however don't do the weird smirk thing. They are genuinely upset that they have these thoughts - most ppl are because they recognize that it is NOT something they want to be thinking. Your son may not be able to distinguish the difference.

    Is he on any medication? (not in your sig, so I'm sorry for asking again if you've told us before, because I'm thinking you have)

    Yes, you do. I don't think you are reading too much into anything. Just like it's possible that he considers such odd thoughts as his own, it's possible for you to get used to such odd behavior and think it's not so big a deal. While it does become 'normal' for us and our kids, it IS a big deal and needs to be addressed.
  5. Matty's Mummy

    Matty's Mummy Member

    thanks you both. Yes he was on medication
    Melatonin and the day dreaming has been worse I realized once in bed, I have thrown it away! but it's still there. and I was talking to hubby and he said about the smirk and how M does that when he is embarrassed...a low self-esteem possibly. And yes he was genuinely upset at first it took him a while to calm enough to tell me.

    I’m off now to a Autism talk so better get moving 300km away takes me a good 3 hours of driving in the middle of nowhere. Thanks again everyone.
  6. keista

    keista New Member

    My girls take melatonin to minimize these thoughts. The thought are usually what keeps them awake. Melatonin helps them fall asleep faster so there's less down time for the thoughts to start, and even if they do it's for a shorter period of time because they fall asleep faster.
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Mine had a hard time expressing the difference between "night thoughts" and dreams, I really had to help her work out the difference one piece at a time.
    Mean Mommy/Daddy/world, everything is so unfair... I don't know a parent that hasn't heard that, just a matter of how often and to what degree they're expressing it.
    Hope you have safe travels!
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Kids at 7 are still very egocentric as a rule, so "everybody is mean to me" and "the whole world revolves around me" is normal. But other things you describe are not.

    Have you got him in to a therapist of any kind? He would be too young for cognitive behaviour therapy, but some preliminary level of therapy would, I think, be valuable.

    Trust your instincts. You know your kids, do have faith in yourself.

    And enjoy your time away. it is difficult trying to log in - I hope you find a free WiFi in a club somewhere, it's what we did last time.