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Substance Abuse
Son update.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760390" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi and I am so sorry that he self sabotaged again. It's not your fault and not accepting your new house will change nothing.</p><p></p><p>Your son is behaving like an addict, which we learn about in NarAnon. Even if they quit drugs they have personality traits that hurt them and that they need therapy to change. Even then it's hard.</p><p></p><p>You could wait around forever and give up your own dreams but it won't help him. He doesn't need you to get real help. He only needs professional help and his own eagerness to change. How can not moving help your son?</p><p></p><p>In Nar Anon we say we didn't cause it, we can't change it and we can't cure it. Even our love does not grant us those powers.</p><p></p><p>If you are not in therapy for yourself or Nar Anon it will probably help you to reach out to others in real life who can help. Nar Anon is online now so you can do zoom and if you choose you can use your phone and hide your face that way. Put NarAnon Zoom Meetings in your search engine. Many from all over will come up with different days and times and you will be welcome at any meeting even if it's in a far away state from yours. Some people with addicted loved ones go to many meetings, whenever they need support. Not pushing it if it's not for you but I hope that even our lurkers get this information. Many don't know you can go online.</p><p></p><p> We do not interfer when another shares. We can't interrupt. We do NOT judge or tell you what to do. We share how the steps and tools work for us and we take what we need and leave the rest. If you find a meeting that doesn't follow these guidelines try another one. These rules are hard and fast...no interrupting and no telling another that he or she is wrong....no judging.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow I hope you take the house because it makes you happy. That act will do nothing to harm your son. Or help him. As far as getting well, only he can do it. We give support. It is all we can offer. And we can do that by phone no matter how far away we live.</p><p></p><p>Sending prayers and love from deep in my heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760390, member: 23706"] Hi and I am so sorry that he self sabotaged again. It's not your fault and not accepting your new house will change nothing. Your son is behaving like an addict, which we learn about in NarAnon. Even if they quit drugs they have personality traits that hurt them and that they need therapy to change. Even then it's hard. You could wait around forever and give up your own dreams but it won't help him. He doesn't need you to get real help. He only needs professional help and his own eagerness to change. How can not moving help your son? In Nar Anon we say we didn't cause it, we can't change it and we can't cure it. Even our love does not grant us those powers. If you are not in therapy for yourself or Nar Anon it will probably help you to reach out to others in real life who can help. Nar Anon is online now so you can do zoom and if you choose you can use your phone and hide your face that way. Put NarAnon Zoom Meetings in your search engine. Many from all over will come up with different days and times and you will be welcome at any meeting even if it's in a far away state from yours. Some people with addicted loved ones go to many meetings, whenever they need support. Not pushing it if it's not for you but I hope that even our lurkers get this information. Many don't know you can go online. We do not interfer when another shares. We can't interrupt. We do NOT judge or tell you what to do. We share how the steps and tools work for us and we take what we need and leave the rest. If you find a meeting that doesn't follow these guidelines try another one. These rules are hard and fast...no interrupting and no telling another that he or she is wrong....no judging. Anyhow I hope you take the house because it makes you happy. That act will do nothing to harm your son. Or help him. As far as getting well, only he can do it. We give support. It is all we can offer. And we can do that by phone no matter how far away we live. Sending prayers and love from deep in my heart. [/QUOTE]
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