I had posted a couple of weeks ago about my situation with my 27-year-old son who has been at our place on house arrest since April. He's actually been at our place since November, but everything fell apart even more when he got fired from his job and then arrested for heroin possession right afterward. His wife had just moved to our place with their two young children about 6 weeks ago. I got some stellar advice from some of you about how to set some boundaries and come up with rules, etc. I had discussed this with my husband and we had yet to have a formal meeting with them, but had figured out what we wanted to say. In the meantime, son and daughter-in-law stepped up to the plate on their own and have been buying groceries, cooking, cleaning, and being generally pleasant people. There have been no more fights, and even the other difficult child (17-year-old son) has been getting along with everyone. So the elder difficult child had another court appearance yesterday. His case has been continued three times since the beginning of April, and each time the judge told him to show up with an attorney next time. He told her he had no income and needed a public defender, but she kept continuing the case. His bond amount was $50,000 and we told him we weren't posting bond. He said he didn't expect us to, and was holding out for the public defender, which wouldn't happen if anyone posted that much bond money. The night before he went to court yesterday, he told us he thought there was a chance the judge would put him in jail since he'd seen her do that to a couple of people previously. He said she assigned them public defenders and then took them off house arrest and into jail. He and daughter in law talked to their kids about the possibility that daddy might have to stay away for a few weeks, and that he still loved them, etc. It was heartbreaking to hear my 3-year-old granddaughter say, "But I don't want my daddy to go to jail!" He went to court at 9 a.m. yesterday and didn't return as planned, so we figured he had been detained. We checked the online jail records and it showed he had been re-booked and the bond had been reduced to $10,000. daughter in law is now trying to come up with the $1000 to post bond. She asked her dad, who said "No." I told her we're not posting anything as can't afford it (kind-of true) and we helped out the last time he was in jail. She wanted to know if she should call our oldest son, difficult children brother, who is the only one of the kids with a good job and any money. Then she asked if I would call him, and I said "No, but I'll give you his phone number." She agreed it would be awkward since they never speak to this brother. He's a military officer and doesn't mind letting difficult child know how stupid he is to do the things he does, etc., so they don't like to talk to him despite the fact that the older brother and his wife let difficult child live with them for a month when he was kicked out of the Marine Corps, gave him money for moving, etc. I did finally tell daughter in law that we'd contribute $100 toward his bond, but that was all I could do. She was wondering aloud what to do about babysitting now that difficult child isn't available. I had a fleeting thought to offer to change my work schedule or take a day off next week to help out, but decided against it and said, "It's going to be tricky for you to figure everything out." She's got her stepmother and some other family members lined up for various days. He has court again next week, so we'll see what that brings. In a way, I wish daughter in law wouldn't bail him out and would move herself and kids back into her dad's house, where she has a better chance of somebody helping her with the kids. Her job is seasonal and ends in 2 weeks though, so I think she might be planning to be at our place and collect unemployment until difficult child can come back. So that's where things stand so far. I was sad when I heard he was back in jail, but keep telling myself that it's his own fault for doing the drugs in the first place. It does seem harsh that he's having to go through all this imprisonment (both house arrest and jail) and that he's been unable to look for a new job, etc. through this time. He hasn't even been arraigned yet. Is this typical?