Soo close--please dont...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mog, Dec 13, 2010.

  1. mog

    mog Member

    blow it for yourself.
    I got a call from difficult child yesterday and he is mad. Apparently the guy that runs the program over there did something that difficult child took as disrespect and he did it in front of all the residents. difficult child told him tht he did not have to sit there and be disrespected so he went to his room. Now the guy took away his privileges so he did not get to go to church which upset him. He was so mad that he was cursing. I said that he needed to calm down and not to do anything stupid so he doesn't pick up new charges to which he said he didn't care. He said that he has asked for help from staff members to mediate with this guy but he won't talk to difficult child. He made the comment to difficult child that he won't last another 3 weeks -then turned and told the residents that if difficult child does anything wrong to tell him. One kid is threatening to hit himself and tell that guy it was difficult child. He is so close to completing this and being done with everything but probation. He got mad at me and said that he didn't need a lecture --I told I wasn't giving him one but he just said he had to go and hung up. Now I am really worried. I called to speak with the counselor and she was busy but when she called back I was in church. She left a message that we would have a family session on Wednesday and she is not there on Monday and Tuesday so now I have to wait until Wednesday. I was hoping to take a trip up to see him but I don't know if he will be able to take him off the property. Any ideas
  2. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Document. Write down everything you remember he said from the call. If he is lying or embellishing the story, you will have some notes you are confident in. If he is telling the truth, there could be something in your notes that can help difficult child get this resolved. I think it is quite likely that a counsellor could act this way in a power situation, and use a position of power to bully someone. Again, your good notes will be useful.

  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    difficult child's counselor should have a supervisor to oversee things while she is gone. In our facility, the counselor's supervisor would be able to take phone calls and get answers. You have the right to call the facility, ask for the supervisor and explain that you are calling him/her only because the counselor is out of the office until Wednesday and you would like information on what is going on.

    Or, is the supervisor the guy who runs the program and in which case calling him will not help.

    Another suggestion is to perhaps call the head nurse (if there is a nursing staff at difficult child's facility - we have nurses at our treatment center) and ask for a report from the medical side of it (has medications been changed due to his behavior since the incident?) to maybe get more of the story.

    Ask for an appeal of the decision. That would indicate that an investigation would arise to readdress all sides and determine if the decision was made in haste. I would think that before a priviledge was revoked, staff should have attempted to figure out what he thought was disrespectful and apologize for that appearance. Then perhaps explain what the intent really was behind the words or action.

    If difficult child can calmly follow a process to find out information without the anger involved, this will be a huge step in indicating that he is ready for discharge.