I never know if any one even notices... LOL But between the trip from heck and not being able to get online without my mother in law being up my you know what. That was hard in itself. The help we were supposed to get, the break while we were in Chicago, well that was non-existent. Too much to even explain. N was not doing well, she is getting worse which is so troubling. Out therapist is addressing this which is nice. K starting spiraling the day before we left. We had hoped it would get better when we arrived. It was OK, husband had to work a bit. Between K's birthday, 4th of July etc... she never had a chance. She was cycling so fast, having nightmares that the house was going to burn down. Begging to go home. By day 12 it was over. She went completely manic. She had no clue were she was, she was delusional, hallucinating, trying to hurt herself. She thought she could get back to Tucson through the bars in the end of the bed or by hitting her head against the wall. This lasted for a few hours. I was finally able to calm her and get her to walk outside and try to catch fireflies. This was scary, I did not know if she would bolt... The only good out of this was that mother in law saw it. Of course when husband told them that we were flying home as soon as we could, mother in law said maybe she will be better in the morning. I wanted to go home earlier, N and K kept telling me they wanted to go home. But I am the the negative one. I am the one who was over reacting. So this horrible experience, one more horrible experience was needed to finally let everyone know that our kids absolutely can not do these things. They can barely go to a museum or mall here. Our psychiatrist apt is tomorrow, therapist Thursday. I am so angry, sad just frustrated. I just feel alone. I was just devastated that I had to miss Cleveland. My one trip, my one thing for myself. I am trying so hard not to be angry at my child. I know it is not her fault. I will try and catch up. I missed you guys.