I have been lurking on this website for probably six weeks or so. As many of you have done, I came upon it feeling desperate for answers from anyone who may understand this ordeal that I am a part of( but not really). I can't tell you how many times, I have come so close to posting and I stop myself, telling myself that I am not the difficult child's mother. How can I possibly understand the situation. However the more I read, the more I realize that our difficult child's actions affect everybody including the mean old step mother (me) who isn't entitled to give advice because he is not my son. I will give the shortest version that I can and then l need advice. difficult child 31, has been diagnosed with bipolar in his early twenties. He lives on his own and just until recently has had a job. When he takes his medications he manages to cope okay. I beleive he may also have a personality disorder as well. (Very, very shy/ not good in any social interaction. Can not make eye contact.) Just MHO. When he takes his medications is tends to level out on the more depressive side of the scale, which must be difficult, however, over time he starts to resort to weed then start progressing to cocaine or meth. I think, he likes self medicating as he becomes a extravert and I think he enjoys his new found confidence while using. Well, as we all know, it doesn't take long for things to get out of hand. He has done this many times and drugged/ manic is quickly out of control. This last episode, involved us rushing to the hospital when a doctor from the ER called to say that he has been stabbed in the neck and is on life support. Very scarey. The long and the short of it is. His "friend" the drug dealer had moved in with him and then proceeded to stab him. Of course, the difficult child has very little memory leading up to these events. Once the difficult child was out of the woods, he then proceeded to tell us that the "friend" saved his life as he was the one that took him to the hospital. One would think an event like this would have a huge impact on him. I fear not. He was not allowed to go to the psychiatric ward as his mom and dad were told this is not a mental health problem but a drug problem. He had been hospitalized six weeks earlier and not followed through on visits to the psychiatrist or any out patient counseling. Nothing. Then proceeded to start the drug use over again. Personally, I can't say I blame the hospital for their decision. Beds are at a premium and why treat someone that isn't going to at least wants to help themselves. There are too many desperate mentally ill people that need immediate care to deal with someone that is a bit of a lost cause. (My words) . The difficult child has been back in his apartment for the last three weeks very depressed (whether that is meth induced depression or his mental illness I am not sure) All of a sudden, he is very talkative and cleaning up his apartment.Not his normal behavior at all. I think he is taking drugs again, but he told his dad he wasn't. He also told his dad that he was taking his medications, what he may have left out was that he likes to crush up his medications and snort them. Funny, HMM, they don't work so well that way. Who new? I guess, I see the drama starting once again. My husband is realizing that difficult child is an adult and the only one in control of his own life. I always tread lightly as:" I am not his mother or father" and I tend to come across as harsh. Maybe I would be different if it were one of my sons, but I like to think that I am more of an outsider looking at the situation a little less emotional. Maybe I am delusional. If I am, please tell me. The part of the drama I find the hardest is not what is happening to my SS, but what this ends up being for my husband. He has to communicate with the ex and she has a different way of doing things. husband is in the stand back and let things ride as he now realizes what hasn't worked in the past. His ex W is absolutely the opposite, although she thinks she has stepped back also. Because of there difference the ex has no problem going off on the deep end at my husband. "You broke up this family,(10years ago).You don't do love difficult child, you do not thing to help him" so on and so forth. This then puts my husband in a very distressed mood. If it is not bad enough that you have to worry about your son, now he has the berating from the ex. The mood is what gets me all worked up. I feel like I am constantly walking on egg shells around here. husband doesn't think there is a mood. Where do I go from here? They are right, he is not my son. (To be honest, there isn't much of a relationship with him and I). I do value my relationship with my husband very much. When all the drama starts my anxiety level starts to peak. I do struggle with depression and anxiety, but is very much in control the majority of the time. Part of me wants to take his ex by the neck and shake her until she can learn to communicate at an adult level. (What a adult thing to think?)Of course, that won't happen. What do you think? My fear this drama will be for the rest of our lives.