TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
I was reading a recent post by Wiped Out, about difficult child holding open a door, and thought of something I did the other day.
I am reading The Manipulative Child and how it takes two to tango, so to speak. For eg., when I allow difficult child to walk in front of me and zoom through the door, it is because I fear his arguing and bad attitude and want to avoid it.
So when we went to dinner the other night, I had him hold open the door for me, and I just took a deep breath when he argued about it. "Why do I have to open the door when you can open it for yourself? What is wrong with-you? Jeez."
I told him that it was a polite thing to do and he was going to learn to do it. (It's not like this is new. We've been through this in the past.)
Next time, I will thank him for the last time he opened a door, and tell him that this time, we'll do it with-o complaining, so I'm going to up the ante.
I'm thinking if we do little exercises like that often enough, he'll eventually do it automatically, plus, it trains me to turn a deaf ear to his complaints instead of getting me stressed out.
The door is just one example. I have a long list of things he does to manipulate me.
Is this a good plan? Opinions?
(I haven't finished the book yet, by the way.
)
I am reading The Manipulative Child and how it takes two to tango, so to speak. For eg., when I allow difficult child to walk in front of me and zoom through the door, it is because I fear his arguing and bad attitude and want to avoid it.
So when we went to dinner the other night, I had him hold open the door for me, and I just took a deep breath when he argued about it. "Why do I have to open the door when you can open it for yourself? What is wrong with-you? Jeez."
I told him that it was a polite thing to do and he was going to learn to do it. (It's not like this is new. We've been through this in the past.)
Next time, I will thank him for the last time he opened a door, and tell him that this time, we'll do it with-o complaining, so I'm going to up the ante.
I'm thinking if we do little exercises like that often enough, he'll eventually do it automatically, plus, it trains me to turn a deaf ear to his complaints instead of getting me stressed out.
The door is just one example. I have a long list of things he does to manipulate me.
Is this a good plan? Opinions?
(I haven't finished the book yet, by the way.
)
