Speaking of holding open doors...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Aug 27, 2008.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I was reading a recent post by Wiped Out, about difficult child holding open a door, and thought of something I did the other day.
    I am reading The Manipulative Child and how it takes two to tango, so to speak. For eg., when I allow difficult child to walk in front of me and zoom through the door, it is because I fear his arguing and bad attitude and want to avoid it.
    So when we went to dinner the other night, I had him hold open the door for me, and I just took a deep breath when he argued about it. "Why do I have to open the door when you can open it for yourself? What is wrong with-you? Jeez."
    I told him that it was a polite thing to do and he was going to learn to do it. (It's not like this is new. We've been through this in the past.)

    Next time, I will thank him for the last time he opened a door, and tell him that this time, we'll do it with-o complaining, so I'm going to up the ante.

    I'm thinking if we do little exercises like that often enough, he'll eventually do it automatically, plus, it trains me to turn a deaf ear to his complaints instead of getting me stressed out.

    The door is just one example. I have a long list of things he does to manipulate me.
    Is this a good plan? Opinions?

    (I haven't finished the book yet, by the way. :) )
  2. threebabygirls

    threebabygirls New Member

    Sounds good to me.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    See if it works. Some kids "get it," some never do. Depends on the kid. What ya got ta lose? :)
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    What ya got ta lose?

    My mind! :)
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    We used something similar with Wiz and it worked. He and thank you both hold doors for me and for any other female around. thank you assumed it was always done because I started it with Wiz to keep him from running out of places ahead of me when thank you was a baby.

    I think, with perseverance, this will work well. Good job coming up with creative solutions!
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    That sounds good to me.

    Then point out to him that in general, the first person to reach the door opens it for the person behind. Sit and watch a busy doorway to see if that is the case (it seems to be for where I live).

    Good luck - one manipulation at a time - forward charge!
  7. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Terry, I already lost my mind. If you find it will you please return it?
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This sounds great!