Special hello to Blondie

[Estherfromjerusalem]

Blondie,

I saw that you snuck in and wrote on to Suz's thread a few times. I'm sorry about the circumstances that made you write, but I just had to say that it was so good to see your name here again. It has been a very long time. Maybe you could give us an update, so that we can know how you are?

I miss you.

Love, Esther

 

[Abbey]

Come on, Blondie.

Abbey

 

[muttmeister]

Yeah, I was just thinking about you this week and then that post popped up. Let us know what's up.

 

[Suz]

Blondie, like Esther, I loved seeing your name even if it wasn't under the best of circumstances.

Please check in and let us know how you're doing.

Hugs,
Suz

 

[Blondie]

Dear Family:

I tried. Once again the dratted Board will not let me Post New Thread. It tells me I am not Logged In (lie) or I "Do Not Have Permission To Access This Page" (New thread).

I don't get it. It does this to me every time I try to make a new thread. So I'll have to do it here since it WILL for some reason let me reply.

So here goes.

I've been 'Parent Emeritus In Absentia' for a long long time now. I do/have read a good bit of the Board up until the last several months. But I felt that I had not been here enough -- sometimes not at ALL -- to be supportive enough, and consistently, of all of you, so I felt shy/stupid about making a new thread.
Not that it would have let me anyway, mind.
Sigh.

But
Here's the deal.

We had been searching for 2+years for a proper diagnosis for Joe, my husband. We received many many of them, all wrong. (Asthma? nope. Shadow on lung, otherwise unremarkable? NO! Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD)/Sleep Apnea? Well, yes, but he's had that for a zillion yrs and had the machine to deal with it. Scar On Lung Due To Open-Heart Surgery in 2005? Ohferpete'ssake! EMPHYSEMA?!!!!? Not hardly!!

Eventually we threw up our hands and drove to the U of Chicago for a REAL diagnosis, and, we hoped, some decent treatment program(s).

They diagnosis'd him in early Nov. after a surgical lung biopsy. He died on Sunday 7 June at a bit before 0400,of mesothelioma. he/We were in our new inpatient hospice unit here in Iowa City.

he fought so so hard

it's been very polarizing for the entire family. Worst is easy child(???) Bug, who now lives in Austin Tx. She has been utterly awful, hurtful, mean, and angry. Refuses to speak to me and to be honest, be daggone if I much care just now. Unfortunately she is arriving on Fri to stay with the poor difficult child/easy child MiaKid and staying till Monday. I'm sure it will be seven kinds of Hades bc she's already made it clear that she intends to march in here and rip all manner of my husbands things out of my house.

Not while I have breath in my body -- And I DO have a gun! lol (sorta).

There have been other unduely nutz happenstances but I lacke the strength to tell all of them just now. And I need at some point to let y'all know how Pico's kids are doing (one of them is in jail, sigh).

I don't know how to do this
I feel as tho someone has folded me twice, stomped me flat and shoved me under a door.
Some days I don't even get out of bed. OK LOTS of days I don't. Except to feed Wolfdoggie.
Tomorrow I have neuro-doctor appointment in general and specifically to get new antidepressants. Bc i cannot cannot cannot be out of my mind right now.
Even tho of course I am.

Aren't y'all so glad you asked?

love, Blondie

 

[tiredmommy]

{{{Blondie}}} I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear husband Joe and for all the pain & drama your so-called easy child is inflicting on you. I'm going to make sure that the site owner Cheryl sees this post so that she can try to figure out why you can't start a thread. {{{Hugs}}}.

 

[DammitJanet]

Oh gosh Blondie. I am so so so sorry about your beloved Joe! Mesothelioma is such a rough thing. Gosh Im sorry. Big hugs.

Also sorry Bug is being a PITA. Is Mia holding up at least a tad bit better? One can hope. I seem to remember she had her daddy wrapped around her finger quite often.

I dont blame you for being laid completely out. I would be too. Sheesh, this last year hasnt been a good year for the board as far as illnesses and deaths!

Waiting to hear about the Picolets. Sigh. Doesnt sound too promising.

But I am thrilled just to see your name. I so miss you.

 

[Star*]

Oh Dearest One of Golden locks, and tacet absentia from the board but never our hearts...

Friendship is candy for the soul. Even if you are diabetic. Mostly cause Abbey is not that sweet, but I more than make up her share. (that is a lie she is very nice) ---rolls eyes.

Since school is back in I'll tell you about transducers. The definition of a transducer is: a device that is actuated by power from one system and supplies power usu. in another form to a second system. Then there is transduction. the action or process of transducing. In a way I guess the board is like a transducer. Kinda like a telephone without that annoying ear sweat and neck crick from bending your head over like this (bends neck to meet ear to shoulder) I saw you 1/2 try it.

For the loss of your husband please accept my deepest sympathies and apologies. I hope there is some healing for your heart in knowing that people know he was a good man who left a good woman too soon.

With regards to Bug. I think a lot of our kids have come to a crossroads in OUR lives with us where we've had to detach from their lives to survive the madness. You're no exception, neither am I. Sometimes there is just no rhyme or reason for them marching to a different drummer. They just get a song in their head and I think it's probably called "Stuck on Stupid." Eventually they burn enough bridges and sink enough canoes that we end up poking holes in the life rafts ourselves for our own sanity. The words ungrateful come to mind. For that I'm sorry too. It's not the monitary things that bother most of us - it's the time lost. That we can't get back. I know you though - despite it all - you're still like a Motel 6. If I were there? I'd take take the lightbulbs out of your porch lights.

I often think about your sisters kids. I was sorry to see that (I'm guessing Bear) is in jail. Do they talk to the people that took them in at all?

Well kid - In my travels (only in my mind) I've gone off to bonnie Ireland and got you a leprechaun. I've given him a shake or ten and asked him for his lucky charms (not the breakfast cereal) - The wolfmonster was NOT impressed with him at ALL...and asked for an Irish-Native blessing over your dark home. I hope this post finds you lifted in spirit, smiling a little and knowing that you are loved (even if it is by kooky, neck bending, ear sweating, candy coated ('cept for Abbers), leprechaun shaking, lightbulb stealing, Irish-Native American chanting in the rain friends) who are so sorry that you have been through it and back...and over again. One more shake - Erin-go-braless - and that should unfold, unstomp and unsend you....at least for the duration of this pathetic attempt to humor you and bring a moment of sunshine into your world.

(hands lightbulb back) - cause I ain't no thief that's why. kooky yes -

Hugs & Love
Star (I'm the nice one) - Neener Abs

 

[Abbey]

Hopefully ops can get her posting situation worked out. I'm sure she could use some board support right now.

.....................

Dear Family:

I tried. Once again the dratted Board will not let me Post New Thread. It tells me I am not Logged In (lie) or I "Do Not Have Permission To Access This Page" (New thread).

I don't get it. It does this to me every time I try to make a new thread. So I'll have to do it here since it WILL for some reason let me reply.

So here goes.

I've been 'Parent Emeritus In Absentia' for a long long time now. I do/have read a good bit of the Board up until the last several months. But I felt that I had not been here enough -- sometimes not at ALL -- to be supportive enough, and consistently, of all of you, so I felt shy/stupid about making a new thread.
Not that it would have let me anyway, mind.
Sigh.

But
Here's the deal.

We had been searching for 2+years for a proper diagnosis for Joe, my husband. We received many many of them, all wrong. (Asthma? nope. Shadow on lung, otherwise unremarkable? NO! Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD)/Sleep Apnea? Well, yes, but he's had that for a zillion yrs and had the machine to deal with it. Scar On Lung Due To Open-Heart Surgery in 2005? Ohferpete'ssake! EMPHYSEMA?!!!!? Not hardly!!

Eventually we threw up our hands and drove to the U of Chicago for a REAL diagnosis, and, we hoped, some decent treatment program(s).

They diagnosis'd him in early Nov. after a surgical lung biopsy. He died on Sunday 7 June at a bit before 0400,of mesothelioma. he/We were in our new inpatient hospice unit here in Iowa City.

he fought so so hard

it's been very polarizing for the entire family. Worst is easy child(???) Bug, who now lives in Austin Tx. She has been utterly awful, hurtful, mean, and angry. Refuses to speak to me and to be honest, be daggone if I much care just now. Unfortunately she is arriving on Fri to stay with the poor difficult child/easy child MiaKid and staying till Monday. I'm sure it will be seven kinds of Hades bc she's already made it clear that she intends to march in here and rip all manner of my husbands things out of my house.

Not while I have breath in my body -- And I DO have a gun! lol (sorta).

There have been other unduely nutz happenstances but I lacke the strength to tell all of them just now. And I need at some point to let y'all know how Pico's kids are doing (one of them is in jail, sigh).

I don't know how to do this
I feel as tho someone has folded me twice, stomped me flat and shoved me under a door.
Some days I don't even get out of bed. OK LOTS of days I don't. Except to feed Wolfdoggie.
Tomorrow I have neuro-doctor appointment in general and specifically to get new antidepressants. Bc i cannot cannot cannot be out of my mind right now.
Even tho of course I am.

Aren't y'all so glad you asked?

love, Blondie

..................................

We do love you, Blondie. You're family!! You know you always have a soft place to land even if you're a lurker. Hugs to you and wishing well for the visit.

Abbey

 

[Abbey]

Ok...repeat post. I didn't see this here.

And, by the way...I am nice. neener back, Star.

Abbey

 

[witzend]

Blondie, we have missed your wit and wisdom. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you will handle Bug with grace. She's angry, I'm sure. But her anger is misplaced, and I hope she will take it down a notch. Stand your ground.

 

[Star*]

no dear that neice, like you have an uncle somewhere and your Mom is his sister.

 

[Suz]

Blondie, I'm so sorry to hear about husband. Gosh, you've been fighting health problems yourself for over a decade, it's shocking and terribly sad to read that husband is gone.

And to hear that Bug is making things even worse makes me want to pull her by the ear and give her a piece of my mind on your behalf. Grief is bad enough by itself; it's even worse if it skews your perspective and causes pain and harm to those around you.

Big gentle hugs. It sounds as if you could use a sounding board and we're here.

Suz

 

[lmf64]

Blondie,
I too am glad to hear from you, even if it's not happy news. My dad was diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) about the same time as difficult child was born. Last winter when they were in AZ he was hospitalized (I wasn't told till he was home in MN) and at that time they diagnosed mesothelioma. I am hoping that we can at least get difficult child through school before we have to say good-bye. I told him that if he's hospitalized again, I had better be called immediately or I would be persuing a medical power of attorney so they have to call me to treat him. He was in the hospital for over a week! He's still young, only 64 now, and getting a poa will be a fight, but hey maybe the threat will make them call me.
I could be there when Bug shows up. I have no fear of difficult child's. I just did battle with a 6 foot tall, 250 pound difficult child to leave the house with his skills worker. Come on kid, you're going to do something fun! I have been known to stand in the doorway and refuse to allow him to leave. I could do it with Bug if necessary.
I think of Pico often. I'm not happy to hear that one of her boys is in jail. She would have been so irritated with him. I hope his crime was something small, if there is any such thing.
You take care of yourself and come to us when you need someone to comfort you.

 

[Mattsmom277]

Blondie, what a roller coaster you and your family has been on. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I am actually glad you are getting rest. I hope you find something good about each day as you wade through your new future. (((hugs)))

 

[Abbey]

no dear that neice, like you have an uncle somewhere and your Mom is his sister.

Ok. That's too confusing to figure out. All I know is I don't live in Kentucky. You're getting a call, and you better pick up.

Abbers

 

[Nancy]

Blondie,

I am so sorry about your husband. And shame on bug for her behavior, what is wrong with her? Life just doesn't seem fair at times and your family has had it's share of struggles. I'm also sorry to hear that one of Pico's kids is in jail. Please do update when you feel up to it, I know there are many on the board who think of you and your family and Pico often.

Are you not getting out of bed because you are depressed or because of medical issues? Let's hope the new medications can correct that.

Hugs,
Nancy

 

[busywend]

Blondie, many supportive hugs and shoulders to lean on coming your way. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.
I hope you can all find healthy ways to deal with the grief.

HUGS!

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

Blondie, I am truly sorry about all you have been going through. It's no wonder that you just didn't have the emotional strength to post with all of that. It was just that as you can see from the responses here, you are still an integral part of this board and you are loved here very much.

Hugs,

Love, Esther

 

[Blondie]

Omg
Thank you thank you

I'm speechless, you-all

Well
Almost.

Today was the aforementioned doctor appointment. Did not go too well, let's leave it at that -- I knew I would get yelled at, I did, OK, NEXT???!?

I am so moved at your kindness

And lol atchu Star. WOLFMONSTER? Oh. You mean my Wolfdoggie? Hmph, she'd only knock you down and lick you till you were a sliver on the sidewalk hah. But. She might EAT that leprechaun, bc if it's something smaller than she is and non-recognizably A Realio-Trulio PEOPLE, it is, er...pretty much, Lunch.

Um. I may take you up on the door-blocking Oh-HALE No!! offer, LMF64. Bug is truly scare-making when she does one of her "I'mRightAndYou'reWrongLalalalala I Can't Hear A WORD You're Saying So It's Useless To Try HAHAHAHAH ON YOU!!" deals. And I am so so very sorry re your Dad's diagnosis. Please try as best you can to prepare yourself: I had POA for my husband almost from the get-go, and it turned out to be a very necessary thing. The life expectancy after diagnosis is not a prospect that cheers the soul. My very best to you.

& re Bug in general

She is 28 going on 11. Or maybe 3.
Omg. Not so long ago I entered the land of "Omg you guys I now have 2 teenagers Oh Pity Me!!" lol I didn't know when I was well off? Or something.

Must go; I just needed to tell you that I'm in tears of gratitude at your kindness and support and, yes. Love. I'll take it where I can find it atm, which freaks my lil self-contained heart right freakin' out to even say that. OY

many hugs to Suz, Esther, Abbey (Star was trying to say that you weren't "nice" you were "neice" by the way haha), Suz, Mutt, all the rest of you whom I dearly remember and think of and carry you with me daily


With all my heart (at least what's left)

Blondie, gonna go take some drugs & go to bed now to ?get rid of my migraine?
Or Not.