OK, maybe this is a cultural thing here, but for me a 6 year old saying, in the heat of extreme anger, that he wants to take a gun and shoot someone isn't quite the same level as a teenager running riot with an assault rifle. OK, the kid has to learn to not say things like this, but the (often massive) reaction that seems to occur can give the kid the wrong sort of payoff - "Hey, look at how they are all taknig me seriously!"
It really worries me.
Kids have to learn to not threaten physical harm to anyone, but I do worry that we've just gone overboard and are not handling what needs to be handled.
WHat I see here needing to be handled - a kid with major frustration issues probably connected to anger and anxiety. I see a school determined to do things their way but not prepared for the outcomes. I see a knee-jerk reaction to threats resulting from the heat of the moment from a very young child.
difficult child 1 had a classmate (Aspie) who was not exactly suspended, but who was told to not return for his final (graduation) year. The reason - they beleived he had brought a gun to school. And of course, we as his friends were not told the reasons. He was too upset and embarrassed to tell us, and his mother never really knew about it because she didn't get told anything. The school clammed up and claimed "confidentiality" then washed their hands of him.
And if he had brought a gun to school - then yes, that would be a problem. And feankly our lawas are very strict, the police should have been called. And they weren't - perhaps because the poice require such things as PROOF.
What really happened - we found out three years later. difficult child 1 and friend were on the school bus going to a sporting field. Some kid showed his new Learner's Permit (for driving acar - our kids can get these from age 16). It was a photo licence, looked like a real drivers licence and the kids thought it was cool. The talk got around to various licenses and pieces of paper, friend said, "I have a junior shooter's licence. I own a gun. It's actually at my uncle's farm, we keep them there to shoot rabbits." [rabbits are really bad here, dangerous pests]
The chinese whispers went up the front of the bus ("he's got a gun licence!" "He owns a gun!" to "he's got a gun!") finally saying that this kid had brought a gun to school. He was pulled out and sent to the acting principal who had been looking for an opportunity to get rid of this large, scary kid with the unemotional expressionless face.
I know this young man, If the teacher had asked him, "Where is your gun?" he would have told her the truth - "It is with my uncle on his farm." I strongly beleive he was never asked. By the time I found out, it was too late to do anything about it. He blames his mother for not sticking up for him, but there were two problems there:
1) I love his mother, but she will buckle in the face of authority, because she believes people in authority know better and have her interests at heart [wrong!];
and
2) her son never told her the full story. He may not have fully realised it himself at the time.
Threasts of violence are wrong. Increasingly so. But in our panic over them, we risk losing perspective and throuwing out the 6 year old with the bathwater.
Marg
