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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 55176" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Thanks everyone.</p><p></p><p>I was going to send her for her usual Summer visit with her dad anyway, only I was going to make it a little longer if her work schedule permitted. But that was before she tried to hurt herself, cut her wrists and wound up in the hospital on Sunday night. We're waiting today to hear about the partial hospital program and then I will have a better idea of her schedule in the upcoming weeks.</p><p></p><p>The thing about staying with her dad is that he's not so good about reminding her to take her medications and not taking her medications is what led to this most recent episode (well, and binge drinking...). Also, he keeps his house hermetically sealed all summer with his AC going, which in and of itself is fine, except that difficult child is allergic to his massively shedding black lab, he doesn't vacuum and when he does it's with the same vac we had from when we were married (over 15 years old!) and he chain smokes. difficult child smokes, so together they are in this stale aired house, with an allergic dog, chain smoking. The house is smaller than 650 sq ft and so it's really dirty, dusty and musty. Seriously, difficult child and easy child both come home sick after every visit and for difficult child its even worse because she's got her disorders on top of her allergies - it takes days, often at least a week to get her back into her normal routine and less crazy.</p><p></p><p>Also, as the girls have gotten older, they want to spend less and less time there. easy child recently told me that when she goes for Christmas, she's staying at a hotel - she hates his house and the smell and the dirt. So, it may be that difficult child goes and then wants to come home like 4 days later (which exh said is fine)...I am just wondering if it's worth it to risk a setback that could wind her up in the hospital.</p><p></p><p>on the other hand, I totally get what everyone is saying about her needing to experience life living with her dad - I agree. She needs to see that actually living with him is different than the visits she's had over the years, like on school vacas, etc. Even exh said that, so he's not completely hopeless I guess. He's only seen her in meltdown mode once and it was during a holiday visit and I had to talk him through it over the phone (he lives about 3 hours away). In a small way I was pleased that it happened so he could see that I wasn't making it up. After that, he was much less resistant to the medications and more cooperative. Maybe he should see firsthand how difficult it is to get her to do anything at all. That's most of the battle with her - she's so not interested in anything and then she's bored and then she's depressed, and so on...</p><p></p><p>Oh well, one day at a time. That's what I'm doing and I told exh that - we're not even telling her about it until she completes the program and we'll see how she is. I don't have much experience with PHP. Can anyone tell me how they work? Are they helpful? This one is supposed to be the best our state has to offer. Thanks for listening!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 55176, member: 2211"] Thanks everyone. I was going to send her for her usual Summer visit with her dad anyway, only I was going to make it a little longer if her work schedule permitted. But that was before she tried to hurt herself, cut her wrists and wound up in the hospital on Sunday night. We're waiting today to hear about the partial hospital program and then I will have a better idea of her schedule in the upcoming weeks. The thing about staying with her dad is that he's not so good about reminding her to take her medications and not taking her medications is what led to this most recent episode (well, and binge drinking...). Also, he keeps his house hermetically sealed all summer with his AC going, which in and of itself is fine, except that difficult child is allergic to his massively shedding black lab, he doesn't vacuum and when he does it's with the same vac we had from when we were married (over 15 years old!) and he chain smokes. difficult child smokes, so together they are in this stale aired house, with an allergic dog, chain smoking. The house is smaller than 650 sq ft and so it's really dirty, dusty and musty. Seriously, difficult child and easy child both come home sick after every visit and for difficult child its even worse because she's got her disorders on top of her allergies - it takes days, often at least a week to get her back into her normal routine and less crazy. Also, as the girls have gotten older, they want to spend less and less time there. easy child recently told me that when she goes for Christmas, she's staying at a hotel - she hates his house and the smell and the dirt. So, it may be that difficult child goes and then wants to come home like 4 days later (which exh said is fine)...I am just wondering if it's worth it to risk a setback that could wind her up in the hospital. on the other hand, I totally get what everyone is saying about her needing to experience life living with her dad - I agree. She needs to see that actually living with him is different than the visits she's had over the years, like on school vacas, etc. Even exh said that, so he's not completely hopeless I guess. He's only seen her in meltdown mode once and it was during a holiday visit and I had to talk him through it over the phone (he lives about 3 hours away). In a small way I was pleased that it happened so he could see that I wasn't making it up. After that, he was much less resistant to the medications and more cooperative. Maybe he should see firsthand how difficult it is to get her to do anything at all. That's most of the battle with her - she's so not interested in anything and then she's bored and then she's depressed, and so on... Oh well, one day at a time. That's what I'm doing and I told exh that - we're not even telling her about it until she completes the program and we'll see how she is. I don't have much experience with PHP. Can anyone tell me how they work? Are they helpful? This one is supposed to be the best our state has to offer. Thanks for listening! [/QUOTE]
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