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Parent Emeritus
Spending time with with difficult children
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 641734" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Lil... </p><p></p><p>{hugs}</p><p></p><p>Having a difficult child kid is one of the hardest things there is on a marriage. Most of us on this board have been there done that.</p><p></p><p>But until I learned TO fight, and HOW to fight... difficult child was tearing my marriage apart as well. I had to <em>learn</em> how to speak up to husband. <em>How</em> and <em>when</em> to put my foot down (instead of in my mouth like usual). <em>How</em> to ask him for help. It's so doggone HARD.</p><p></p><p>It's usually one parent in the relationship that feels both sides of the difficult child thing more strongly... needing to be "tough", yet wanting deeply to somehow get help for difficult child. Or, at least, one parent at any one point in time. husband and I have learned that whichever one is wrestling with both sides, is usually seeing something that the other is missing. And yes, it isn't always me.</p><p></p><p>It might help both you and jabber to get individual help for yourselves. I'm finding that just having my own private "pressure release valve" really helps (therapist). This isn't couples therapy. It's about coping with an extremely stressful situation, and not wanting to hurt each other in the process.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 641734, member: 11791"] Lil... {hugs} Having a difficult child kid is one of the hardest things there is on a marriage. Most of us on this board have been there done that. But until I learned TO fight, and HOW to fight... difficult child was tearing my marriage apart as well. I had to [I]learn[/I] how to speak up to husband. [I]How[/I] and [I]when[/I] to put my foot down (instead of in my mouth like usual). [I]How[/I] to ask him for help. It's so doggone HARD. It's usually one parent in the relationship that feels both sides of the difficult child thing more strongly... needing to be "tough", yet wanting deeply to somehow get help for difficult child. Or, at least, one parent at any one point in time. husband and I have learned that whichever one is wrestling with both sides, is usually seeing something that the other is missing. And yes, it isn't always me. It might help both you and jabber to get individual help for yourselves. I'm finding that just having my own private "pressure release valve" really helps (therapist). This isn't couples therapy. It's about coping with an extremely stressful situation, and not wanting to hurt each other in the process. [/QUOTE]
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