spin off of the sex thread....help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Nancy423, Dec 23, 2008.

  1. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    My difficult child is emotionally delayed and her memory isn't consistant. I still don't really know how to talk to her about her menstral cycle let alone SEX. I see her more like giggly and hiding her head if I approach her. Thing is, I know it starts young. I'm SURe she's heard stuff or seen stuff. they did have a sex ed class in 5th grade and she's got a booklet they went thru. But I have no idea how much she understands or retained from that unit. Somehow I just feel like if I bring it up, it's to a 2nd or 3rd grader that I'm talking to. Seems just "off". Know what I mean??

    any help is appreciated....
  2. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    There is a book that is designed for younger kids. It is very helpful and just graphic enough for younger children. Of course I can't remember the name of it!!! Something like "How I got here", not sure. Google it. It is very appropriate for a 2nd or 3rd grader so it should be fine for your daughter. There are cartoon pictures, nothing too explicit. I read it with my daughter way back when.

    Sorry I can't remember the name.

    God bless. :)
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I think I asked my son about what they learned in "family life" class, just to break the ice and get a conversation going to see where he was with all of it. Then, I answered any questions he had and made sure he kknew he could come to me to discuss things. I tried to use it as an opportunity to "show" him that we could talk about these things without getting into it deeper than what he was comfortable with- that actually seeemed to make him more comfortable and willing to talk about more, when he had questions. This way, as time passed, I was able to keep a pretty good idea about where he was mentally and physically in development.

    In your case, I think I'd make sure she knows how babies are conceived and to expect changes in her moods and body and maybe even emotionally and reassure her that she's perfectly normal going through this. Also, make sure she's comfortable telling her friends or anyone else "no".

    I think for most schools, sex education in 5th grade is really education about puberty- not how to have safe sex. That starts coming in middle school. Oh- just remembered- in 5th grade about puberty- they also made a point to make sure the kids learned that development happens at different paces for different kids so they wouldn't worry if they hadn't started growing when most other kids had or that they shouldn't make fun of another kid who stayed short a long time or suddenly grew tall. I thought that was a good idea and tried to reinforce that, too.
  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    There is also a book put out by American Girl called something like, Body Book for Girls. It covers pretty much everything. I got it for my daughter when she was a bit younger than yours, if I remember correctly. She took it up to her room right away to read.
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I started off when she was smaller my easy child, we began with reproduction of animals, etc. how fascinating it is. My initial spin was the love of two ppl, or animals, a bird, dog, cat etc. can create another human being. Sort of like the birds and the bees speech........ than as time went on and i knew she was learning alot more in school that was incorrect i began to up the anti and concentrated more on the biology of it all, the science. I did wow isnt' it fascinating how an egg can be fertilized in a mommy's tummy and a baby can grow in a special place. I've learned a little info at a time with my kids, and than adding on as their mind's and scope of realities grows and expands seems to work for them.

    I guess what I"m saying is i started off small and with each new passing year I began to add more reality into it. It was gradual. difficult child unfortunately got hit iwth it all at once at only almost 10 because she heard some kids saying stuff very explicit ugh and i had to go full sexual talk on her. I had no choice because the way it was explained was so violent and hurtful to her young ears. I still spun it with the whole love thing. I keep pushing love, love, adulthood, etc.

    Obviously my easy child made a bad choice recently. I am confident she will come back from it or at least hopeful. Yet one thing I can say is she was incredibly hesitant that night as I carefully read thru her texts. She also didn't engage in intercourse. I guess I can be grateful for that.

    I think it's so so important for us as parents to be as open and honest about sexuality with them as possible as well as menstrual cycles, etc. I've already done the menstrual cycle talk with difficult child as well. I had to she now wears deodorant, she has two pimples. What can I say is it the hormones in the milk that are making them develop faster??

    Another great book is by Judy Blume"God it's me Margaret" love that book.

    ok i've rambled sorry xmas wrapping and writing. i just wanted to jump in. Enjoy those moments also though, their special those talks. Someday we'll remember them when our kids are adults and all grown up hopefully lol.
  6. Mayapple5

    Mayapple5 New Member

    It seems no matter how much you teach them they still make their own choices when they grow up. I homeschooled two girls together. We had so many talks about this subject and had so much fun just the three of us being so forthright and stright. We held nothing back. The came to me with questions about everything. We sent one to Bob Jones for a year and I finished hsing the other her last year of high school. The oldest came home, met a boy, and bamb she made the wrong choice! I was not able to cry with her when she lost the baby, I was truly sorry but it was for the best, she was in the wrong and she knew it, she has repented, but still wants to be a mom soon, but knew she was going about it the wrong way.

    they make their choices and we can't be responsible from a certain age on. I have been there for her, always, but not responsible for her choices. We taught them all we could while we had them.
  7. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    Thanks. I looked around on Amazon and found a couple others that would go great with- that one.:thumbsup:

    I hear ya Mayapple! I just don't even know where to begin so that she has the info/facts!

    OMG, daughter has needed deoderant for the last few years and keeps forgetting to put it on. I sure hope it's not hormones in the milk cuz that would just add fuel on the fire LOL She's already got enough hormones raging...

    I think you're right about that. I should go find that booklet she has becuase I think it was about development and puberty stuff.

    Thank you, i think i may have found it.
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I also used the America Girl book with my easy child. She was an early bloomer, buds at 6, pubic hair at 8, period at 91/2. She stopped growing completely in statute at 11. I had to start early with her. I think I bought the book when she was 7. We read together and I explained as much as I could to a 7 year old. When she started her period in 4th grade, she was prepared as she could be.