I called for PO again- got voice mail again. So I called defense attny again and he answered. I told him we really needed to discuss some things because he needed to know a couple of things in order to understand what is in difficult child's best interest. I told him I had thought he knew already but difficult child had whipped a knife out prior to pulling one on me and he had those psychiatric hospital stays- several of them with a couple being tdo's thru our mental health dept- around that time and and a lot of that was being triggered by issues discussed in outpatient family therapy. THAT is why Residential Treatment Center (RTC) became the subject to begin with- 1) they needed to determine if difficult child was just a kid who didn't care about rules or if he was BiPolar (BP) and 2) to deal with the more sensitive issues in intensive therapy while he was out of the home. I was feeling a lot of anxiety by that point and I'm sure it came thru over the phone and I kept talking and said THAT is what is causing me so much anxiety- He interrupted and said he didn't have time right now for that whole conversation but if I was afraid for difficult child to be in the home, we would have to go to dss (which is why I never brought this up and stressed it before). But, I had told him in there somewhere that the probation officer HAD known but she later lied and said she didn't- but there were witnesses that she did because I told them at a county team meeting and she was sitting right beside me. That is why she ordered in-home therapy that was due to start in a few weeks. Anyway, I told def attny that I am not scared of difficult child to the point that I live in fear if he's at home or I would have brought that up and discussed arrangements prior to his release from Department of Juvenile Justice. But, I am afraid about trying to deal with certain issues in an outpatiient setting because they always result in that sort of problem at home and now it's to a point where knowing that alone causes me a great deal of anxiety. And it wasn't just difficult child becoming aggressive- he was doing more self-harming than getting physically aggressive but I forgot to remind the attny of that. He said they weren't proposing family therapy- only that difficult child be required to see a counselor individually. (shewww, TG), He said if I had other options to consider, it would be fine to throw them out there (you know the option that went thru my mind that now is no longer available because they blew the only opportunity I could get into place). He said the judge will not consider letting difficult child out with just this time served and nothing else in place or required so I needed to decide what I wanted for my son. Well, that's what I was trying to lead into but he had to go. He told me to call him next week and we'd discuss it further. I think he's concentrating on just how to get difficult child out of incarceration and whether or not I feel so unsafe that he needs to get dss involved. I'm not worried about that- I understand this is his job as difficult child's defense attny and I could explain this better to dss because I think they would understand better- I'm not living in fear of my son causing me bodily harm on a daily basis. I, on the other hand, want to get back to discussing what is in difficult child's best interest with him. I hope this conversation helped def attny to understand where I'm coming from a little better. Can I come up with other ideas or options? Sure- a few of them- but now I can't afford them or don't have them available because I've been doing things their way for so long that it has cost me about everything. And of course, they have NOTHING available. It's a real shame that this couldn't be dealt with while difficult child was in Department of Juvenile Justice but they don't get into that much besides behavior mod and difficult child stopped self-harming and was not aggressive there. The only thing I can figure is that it was because they weren't dealing with the more sensitive issues and he was in a secure, structured environment. Even if a judge wanted difficult child to go back and try again to deal with these things while difficult child is in Department of Juvenile Justice, that wouldn't work because they can't hold him in Department of Juvenile Justice that long for something like this and by the time he got thru the processing stage, his time would be almost up.