Star* - Thinking of you & Dude tomorrow

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Steely, Apr 23, 2008.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Hey Star,

    Isn't Dude's court date tomorrow?
    If so, sending many hugs, prayers, good vibes, and strength your way!
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in more hugs and prayers and crossed body parts.
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Me too!

  4. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Always hugs and positive thoughts.

  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Do we get to do the nekkked chicken dance???

    It'll be 80 degrees and sunny here tomorrow. I could let my new neighbors see what they're in for living next to a house full of difficult children. :full: lol

    Starbie, you know you and Dude are always in my prayers. Chicken dance will be performed, body parts will be crossed, and I'll be sending positive thoughts your way.

  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I'll be thinking about you are Dude tomorrow and hoping everything turns out OK.

  7. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Sending good juju you and Dude's way.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911


    Have a seat. I'm not going. He owes $250.00 tomorrow in back probation fees, restitution and costs. He has been given the opportunity to work around the Foster families home to do chores and earn enough money to total $250 - and did nothing. They told me it's a struggle to get him to do his house chores for living there.

    He hasn't called me since he and that friend planned on using my house as a meeting spot, to which I agreed, got up at 6:30 and set out stuff for breakfast for everyone and never got a call or an apology. Finally at 9:15 friend called - yawned and said he was still in bed, then laughed. I was NOT amused and let him know it. Then Dude showed up - 1 1/2 hours later and when he found out the friend wasn't coming - got angry because I didn't want to take him shopping. THE NERVE. I'm not backing down on this - He's told others basically I'm a shrew. And if the shrew fits? Wear it.

    I contacted his caseworker 3 weeks ago to make arrangements for THEM to take him - that should be a scream. Dude can't stand the supervisor and I am sure he's the one driving him - This man is about as funny as dry popcorn poots. And he tells storys for hours on end with no moral or reason. He also believes that Dude should get more tough love - so - THERE - Don't you agree that is caseworkers boss taking him and NOT his mommy is tough love? He had NOTHING to say - (Thank goodness_that too would have been pointless and boring)

    So no - I'm not going. I hope it goes well. I hope he has the Luck of the Irish with him, or the blessings of Long Standing Bear our chief - or his higher bead rattling power of candle lighting inflame-ation. What he won't have is his Mom standing there telling anyone, anymore that he needs a break. He's disabled, he's not capable - he's unable. I hope it scares the urine sample out of him.

    But - I will not be there in anything other than thought. Since he doesn't need me, this should be a good break for both of us.

    He still has court to face - and is behind on court costs here to the tune of $200+ and the fees there of $250 + this month and next already - and well - I hope he is as brilliant as he believes he is - because he's going to need a boatload of smarts for the coming sentence of 15 years. I haven't decided if I'm going to go to that either. Probably not.

    But thank you just the same for the good thoughts - send them to Dude.
  9. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I have a ton of good thoughts and prayers for Dude.

    Likewise, my friend, I have lots of good thoughts for you as well. (And some evil ones, but those are for another post). Probably for the best that you don't go. All my hugs for your exhausted mommy heart. And prayers. Oh, and the blessings of Long Standing Bear. And a bowl of cricket butter soup with crumbled corrupted cookies on top.
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Yeah -

    About Chief Long Standing Bear - Blackfeet Nation -

    "Your inquiry regarding BIA status XXXXX.XXXX will have no further action."
    - BUY MY BOOK.

    ROFLMAO when I got THAT email.
  11. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Stand tall, girl. He needs to grow up.

  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Good for you, Star. He thinks he's a man, he can stand alone like one.
  13. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Right on, Star! Will be thinking of you my friend.

  14. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Hugs and prayers from me too!!!!
  15. Star*

    Star* call 911

    WHAT A TOTAL #*$&)(@_!)(+# WO$#U#*_#)$_)@

    Got a call from the caseworker who needed directions (moments ago) to the "court house"?????????

    Um - NO====you are going to PROBATION AND PAROLE - in the DSS building down the road.

    Caseworker: Um Then why did I talk to the solicitor yesterday?

    Me: WHAT IN THE BLUE MOON are you talking to the solicitor for???

    Him: Well I wanted to find out where we were in these charges.

    me: blink, blink......(pause)....>>>>WHAT????

    him: The charges for tomorrow.

    me: SLAP FACE.......NO NO NO......THIS IS FOR PROBATION TODAY - AT THE PROBATION OFFICE - to get his PO changed to a local one so we can stop taking the day off, to drive 180 miles and sit all day - and get a local PO, plus he OWES probation FEES.....$250+ PLUS

    Him: OH - Okay I'm going to get this straightened out.

    me: There is nothing to straighten out. He owes, he pays - they see him in a month. I paid his fines up before to keep him out of jail....and they never put it in the computer so they issued a hearing. And in the mean time - he is BEHIND for the months that I caught him up TO - in other words since he's been at the foster family. But he won't do chores. He figures why bother - he's going to jail for 15 years anyway. What kid with his mental capacity wouldn't think that way? So if there is something to be DONE today - GO TALK TO THE PUBLIC DEFENDER AND GET HER TO HAVE THOSE BOGUS CHARGES dismissed - and tell HER that he's getting more care than a jail can give, and that YES HE DOES HAVE A MENTAL PROBLEM -

    me: Shakes head, sighs, exhales.....and thinks - YET THEY are the ones with degrees.......and making the BIG bucks.????

    Caseworker - "Well I can't get anyone to call me back."

    me: I said "If I put you on hold, and called there RIGHT NOW - I would get her."

    URGE TO CHOKE A HUMAN AT 7:30AM...overwhelming
    Child who's PO told him "This is all in your mind Dude." Unbelievable
    Having your sons caseworker not know what is going on? PRICELESS

    I do know from the psychiatrist that Dude is so hyperfocused on going to jail for 15 years - he's struggling to NOT develop a WHO CARES attitude. Which is so difficult child - defeatist attitude - with his limited coping skills - who wouldn't?

    But - I guess I will hear about this - sometime. After all I'm only the Mom. Why would I need to know?

    -Why would ANYONE in their right mind Want TO KNOW?


  16. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Oh gosh Star what a bloody mess. One hand not knowing (caring???) what the other is doing. I am proud of you for standing your ground and not getting involved in this today. Sorry you had to deal with the moronic phone call this morning. Just goes to show what happens when mama bears have to back down and let their kids fly. They have to learn what it's like to figure their stuff out on their own (certainly can't depend on agency staff to do it for them now if they can't keep track of the location they are to go to!). Dude is in your heart today I know, but Im sticking to my stance of feeling hugely proud that you have your tush at home and his tush in someone else's car as he goes to face the music.
    I do find it so sad that so many kids need HELP and get messed about in the system that doesn't hear. Yet could rattle Dude for not doing chores to take care of his fines/debts.
    Tough love. *sigh* It's a hard road. On us! It did work for my Matt. After nearly 18 months of the toughest love that had me near drowning emotionally. I will rattle beads that it will also work for your Dude.
  17. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    My gosh. What a mess. I'm not surprised. These guys are so overworked that they don't really *know* who they are dealing with. I hope it all gets worked out. As always...document, document.

  18. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    They obviously thought you were going to do this.....So typical of the biggest fear of having difficult children in the system----they will forget where they put them!!!

    Hope you can stay out of it and Dude isn't watching too closely to pick up bad habits....
  19. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Completely believeable. Totally ridiculous. Amazing anyone can manage to turn the lights on at the courthouse.

    Good thing this was dealt with thru a phone call, right Star? Had it been face-to-face, well, then another caseworker/PO/whatever would be chasing missing paperwork around and being totally misinformed about your charges!

    Gads. Sorry pal.

  20. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    What can I say??? You have my thoughts, respect, concern and hugs. I'm rooting for your dude to make it, I'm rooting for mine as well...who knows.