Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by meowbunny, Dec 14, 2007.

  1. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Just hoping today brings you some peace and the news that the Dude is back and safe. May there be no more bad news for you this year. It is time for a break.

  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Thinking of you and Dude as you go thru with my son I hope they someday...."get it" that we really did try to help them........saying prayers and sending hugs.......
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911

    No word - nothing but thanks for thinking of us MB & all

    A guy I work with that rides the bus to work came in my office and asked me if my son was 'okay' and I said "Um..dunno" (really didn't want to talk about it). Then he said that he thought he saw my son last night at the bus depot - described him to a T - with a duffel bag - and very upset. He knew his name, but didn't yell out "Hey Dude is that you?"

    You would think - after that I'd be flattened - and somehow I just sat there I guess in disbelief - thinking could it, naw...really, ya think..he's not that savy...where did he get bus fare.....

    And then the phone rang and my brain went into work mode - and after the call I sat here and thought - I'm not even going to do that negative projecting - can't think about it. Just can't.

    Do you ever wonder if you just walked away from them and washed your hands completely if you'd be better off? Really.
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Yes. I had many, many moments of wondering that. I made mental plans of what I'd do, where I'd go, how I'd feel. It was wonderful!

    But I always came to my senses :hammer: because really, we love them and they are a part of us even when we detest their behavior and their choices.


    And so we somehow gather our strength again.

    Hugs Star. I hope he is safe.

  5. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Sending prayers of safety. You do a great job of detatching. Keep up the good work and let us know when you hear something.
  6. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    So sorry to hear that he has totally taken off. Maybe being on his own for awhile will be the reality check he needs. Let's hope he just doesn't use it to get in more trouble.

    Many, many HUGS!
  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Oh, Star... I'm sorry.

    I'm probably more able to address this than many of the others, because that is where it is with M for now. I know that I am better off. I also hope that in time, were the situation to present itself, I, with my clean hands and calmer mind, would be more able to deal with him than I was in the past. And more confident that who he is and what he does belongs to him.

    Time will tell, I suppose. What I do know is that none of it is easy, and he's always in the back of my mind.
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh Star............I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts today, and I am praying that dude is safe and that rationale will settle in his mind. Words really cannot express how deeply you are on my heart.......particularly since your dude and mine are so close in age, behavior, and destiny. Sigh................
  9. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    One thing I've learned after years of heck is these kids have an amazing way of surviving on their own. They have endless houses they camp out in, and are ok with staying in shelters. Let him feel the real world.

    Hugs to you. been there done that.

  10. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    After reading your other post, I would have to say that I am the queen of detachment. I'm not saying that in a positive way, but in a survival way. After years of :censored2:, I just couldn't do it anymore. I lost all expectations and all hope. It will take a lot of work to bring that back. The work is not going to be on my part. That is how jaded I am.

    So, for once in 24 years I am putting MY needs above J. He can take the burden now.

    Take care of yourself.

  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Star! Huge hugs!! I did not see this until now. I hope Dude is safe. I am sure he has that difficult child survival that someone mentioned above. We have seen that come through as a common theme for sure!

    Thinking of you!