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<blockquote data-quote="bluebell" data-source="post: 709137" data-attributes="member: 16761"><p>I identify with what you are saying, SOT. I've noticed even with my 'easy child', I am so much more involved in her day to day minor crying and malaise than my mother ever was. My mom (who I was close to) died when I was 25 (and my Difficult Child was 7 months old). I cannot imagine my kids being able to deal with that in a few years. I actually remember pushing my mom away from some situations that I thought were personal (my college decision, marriage partner, birth of my Difficult Child). I feel like my kids try to pull me in to their drama. I'm not going to take blame for this, I did the best I could. I was a working mother and once when my son was little, a coworker told me that I didn't need to buy my son more plastic just because I work. That stuck with me and I always tried to 'compensate' for my time away in loving interactions and 'quality' time. I didn't want to spoil them with material things. But now I wonder if the 'loving interactions and quality time' was wrong too. My mom stayed home with me, but she had a life and a boundary that I recognized. I don't think this is just a 'working mom' thing as I see stay at home moms taking on the same burdens and guilt as I did. I think it's worse with this new generation of parents, they take these children to bed with them and cater to their every whim with their iphones in the hand of every toddler in walmart. I'm about to get blasted but I'll be quiet now. But you know what? Most of those kids will grow up ok, despite whatever stupid crap their parents do. And some will not. That's what is so frustrating about all of this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bluebell, post: 709137, member: 16761"] I identify with what you are saying, SOT. I've noticed even with my 'easy child', I am so much more involved in her day to day minor crying and malaise than my mother ever was. My mom (who I was close to) died when I was 25 (and my Difficult Child was 7 months old). I cannot imagine my kids being able to deal with that in a few years. I actually remember pushing my mom away from some situations that I thought were personal (my college decision, marriage partner, birth of my Difficult Child). I feel like my kids try to pull me in to their drama. I'm not going to take blame for this, I did the best I could. I was a working mother and once when my son was little, a coworker told me that I didn't need to buy my son more plastic just because I work. That stuck with me and I always tried to 'compensate' for my time away in loving interactions and 'quality' time. I didn't want to spoil them with material things. But now I wonder if the 'loving interactions and quality time' was wrong too. My mom stayed home with me, but she had a life and a boundary that I recognized. I don't think this is just a 'working mom' thing as I see stay at home moms taking on the same burdens and guilt as I did. I think it's worse with this new generation of parents, they take these children to bed with them and cater to their every whim with their iphones in the hand of every toddler in walmart. I'm about to get blasted but I'll be quiet now. But you know what? Most of those kids will grow up ok, despite whatever stupid crap their parents do. And some will not. That's what is so frustrating about all of this. [/QUOTE]
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