After the last month, I was convinced oldest son was using... We sat down with him last night and the situation all came to a head. I think me being angry really upset him. I've only seen my son cry a few times in his entire life, he is a lot like his dad that way. He absolutely hates confrontation, always has, he was a peace maker as a child. He is saying that he is so anxious around us, that he stays out to get away, and that he needs to move out to do things for himself because we hover so much. I do think that is true to a point. He promises he isn't dealing anymore, and his bank account isn't showing as much activity. The money he went through I guess was debt and he still has some left. Do I think he was also doing drugs.... Probably. He is saying he has been clean and going to classes, but I don't know about that. I want to believe him of course. However, if he moves out it is so expensive, he will need student loans to continue univ and I'm scared for him. I'm torn. He also said I text him too much. Probably true. He asked if I could just call instead. We also brought up that he doesn't help around the house. He offered to start making suppers. I said that would be great. We will see. I don't know what I think. He really is a sweet and kind soul, always has been, so I know life is hard for him. He has never been abusive or outright disrespectful to us. He has had addiction problems so I do think he needs more help. He has done counselling in the past, but doesn't want to do it again. He claims he isn't using. I want to believe him. I think at this point he needs us to believe in him. When he was talking last night, it broke my heart that he thinks we think he is a "piece of crap" and he has messed up so badly. He honestly feels terrible about what he has done. I know some of you would be sceptical due to his addictions, but I know he was being sincere with us. I feel because he was such a good kid, never gave us any grief, he knows that the last few years have been hell, and feels very guilty. We decided to try the next month,he has to get a job, his exams are theses next two weeks. After that if its for the best he will move out. If we can give each other some space and he isn't showing signs of using, dependant on how he is feeling, we will take it a month at a time. I told him I would love for him to move out too, but my worry is around the money. Maybe we should look into it anyway... To give us all some space. I don't know what will happen, but one thing he said was that I need to start thinking about myself instead of him all the time. I agree. Time to start taking care of myself.