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Substance Abuse
Starting over again.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 684575" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p>FYI - P.S.</p><p>I could have written this myself. So very similar in my son ... when we are angry, he is upset, and the real tears flow, and he will almost say or do anything to stop it / stop the confrontation and discord. I've learned he knows exactly what to say and do / that he has learned precisely what we want to hear and see, in order to shorten and end the confrontation / the interrogation / the too close and intense discovery. Such episodes always ended with agreement and promises, and hugs, and offers to help .... Never happened / never lasted for long. It may be that these encounters and need to avoid are what actually taught him to routinely lie and keep lying just to tell us what we wanted to hear and so we would not worry and question (... most of the time without even realizing he was lying, since it was such a habit. )</p><p></p><p>Sad to say, been there / done that .... no words and promises lasted .... until the loving detachment which is what's really needed. Once the enabling stops, that's when your true trust and believing in him will build and will build in him also. Just my opinion. You know your individual situation and will work through it yourselves. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 684575, member: 19617"] FYI - P.S. I could have written this myself. So very similar in my son ... when we are angry, he is upset, and the real tears flow, and he will almost say or do anything to stop it / stop the confrontation and discord. I've learned he knows exactly what to say and do / that he has learned precisely what we want to hear and see, in order to shorten and end the confrontation / the interrogation / the too close and intense discovery. Such episodes always ended with agreement and promises, and hugs, and offers to help .... Never happened / never lasted for long. It may be that these encounters and need to avoid are what actually taught him to routinely lie and keep lying just to tell us what we wanted to hear and so we would not worry and question (... most of the time without even realizing he was lying, since it was such a habit. ) Sad to say, been there / done that .... no words and promises lasted .... until the loving detachment which is what's really needed. Once the enabling stops, that's when your true trust and believing in him will build and will build in him also. Just my opinion. You know your individual situation and will work through it yourselves. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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