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Substance Abuse
Starting over again.....
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<blockquote data-quote="UpandDown" data-source="post: 684605" data-attributes="member: 19025"><p>I get it Colleen. I really do. We have cared for and been there for our children since they were helpless babies. It is ingrained in us to care for them and protect them. Yet, having a child that goes way off track calls for us to do what feels like exactly the opposite of what our gut says. Last night my son got very very upset after my husband found weed in the basement and took it away. Son knew that was a boundary he can not cross and did it anyway. He proceed to say he wanted to die without it, couldn't be in pain tonight, crying. My heart was twisted and hurting. He was begging us to give it to him to stop the hurting. I so wanted to just give it back to him. Husband insisted that we go to dinner with younger child and leave the drama behind. He also refused to tell me where he hid it because he knew I would cave. I was so angry at him. I was terrified that son would hurt himself. Yet I knew through all the reading and advice I have received here along with therapy that I was enabling and enmeshed with him. That me staying and consoling him was only going to make it worse. Not to mention, send him a very confusing message. The whole time at dinner, I was quietly angry with my husband as my need and drive to protect and help son was overwhelming. And I felt like he was standing in my way. Yet, amazingly when we got home, son was upstairs perfectly calm and fine. He had cleaned his room while we were gone and crisis was averted for the time being. I look at my situation with son and am becoming very aware that he is medicating some serious issues. Whether it be depression or anxiety or perhaps Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), I am not certain. Today I am going to dig deeper to find someone/somewhere that can help. Yet knowing he is struggling with something deeper does not make it ok to use illegal drugs in my house and put my family in danger. Having my 3 daughters here helps too with me and setting boundaries.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="UpandDown, post: 684605, member: 19025"] I get it Colleen. I really do. We have cared for and been there for our children since they were helpless babies. It is ingrained in us to care for them and protect them. Yet, having a child that goes way off track calls for us to do what feels like exactly the opposite of what our gut says. Last night my son got very very upset after my husband found weed in the basement and took it away. Son knew that was a boundary he can not cross and did it anyway. He proceed to say he wanted to die without it, couldn't be in pain tonight, crying. My heart was twisted and hurting. He was begging us to give it to him to stop the hurting. I so wanted to just give it back to him. Husband insisted that we go to dinner with younger child and leave the drama behind. He also refused to tell me where he hid it because he knew I would cave. I was so angry at him. I was terrified that son would hurt himself. Yet I knew through all the reading and advice I have received here along with therapy that I was enabling and enmeshed with him. That me staying and consoling him was only going to make it worse. Not to mention, send him a very confusing message. The whole time at dinner, I was quietly angry with my husband as my need and drive to protect and help son was overwhelming. And I felt like he was standing in my way. Yet, amazingly when we got home, son was upstairs perfectly calm and fine. He had cleaned his room while we were gone and crisis was averted for the time being. I look at my situation with son and am becoming very aware that he is medicating some serious issues. Whether it be depression or anxiety or perhaps Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), I am not certain. Today I am going to dig deeper to find someone/somewhere that can help. Yet knowing he is struggling with something deeper does not make it ok to use illegal drugs in my house and put my family in danger. Having my 3 daughters here helps too with me and setting boundaries. [/QUOTE]
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