stayed home from my birthday trip

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by barneysmom, Nov 17, 2010.

  1. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    Well, I stayed home from my annual birthday trip. Our family (me, husband and boys) have gone to Chicago for my birthday for years. We didn't go last year because gfg17 was not well. To be honest I have never really enjoyed the trip because of all the fighting in the hotel room and lots of oppositional behavior when we are trying to enjoy the city. I usually just sucked it up. One year I had a panic attack in Water Tower Place and had to go back to the hotel room.

    This year, I had been telling husband I was reluctant to go, because it involves five nights in a hotel with the boys and I just don't have the energy for that right now after the rough year we've had. I'm tired. husband said I was pre-judging the boys' behavior and that if I went with a bad attitude it would be a bad trip. He said it would be good for the family. We even talked about it in family therapy and worked out a family plan for team-building and solving disputes. When I look back on the meeting, I still think my personal needs were overlooked (even though I love and trust our therapist).

    But what about the fact that I simply don't want to go and don't have the physical or emotional energy? I want to and need to protect my energy right now -- it's precarious and I'm tired a lot. Plus I was having an inordinately hard time leaving my dogs. They are trustworthy.

    So I decided not to go. husband and the boys went anyway. Actually I think it has worked out OK -- a little disconcerting that they went on my birthday trip without me, but now I have some time and space to rest and think.

  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    which maybe a blessing in disguise to have a little you time. maybe just what u needed for your birthday actually. only you know you best. :)

    i'd be a little concerned too they left your bdy, yet at end of day think of it as a rare gift. do something special for you, even if it's a cheap special something to make you feel good and happy.

    i too would feel the same about the therapy session, i honestly would have zero desire to go somewhere for my birthday where i gotta have a plan set up on how to survive it, bond etc. enough sometimes, therapy is great yet there are times things are just simply what they are. your tired and just dont' wanna go.

    enjoy your time alone and happy birthday
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    If it makes you feel any better, I'd gladly send my family on my birthday trip without me!

    Then I'd be rockin' the cream and cereal for dinner!! WOOT WOOT!
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I feel the same way. I told husband that I had no desire to take a vacation this year unless we could leave the kids with his parents and go by ourselves. difficult child sucks all of the fun out of it for everyone and I just don't want to go. He throws tantrums where ever we go. I don't have to pay to go somewhere to watch that. I can stay home and see that for free! We did tell them that we would take the to Williamsburg in the spring, but I am regretting telling them that. Now I feel like we have to go.

    How long with your husband and the boys be gone? I think that if everyone went away and left me alone for a few days I would be dancing in every room of the house! Try to enjoy your quiet time. It may actually be great gift: time to yourself.

  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    It's YOUR birthday, enjoy it your way. Treat yourself and relax in the silence (or loudly play whatever music you love that they complain about!). Have a girl's night out or night in. Watch tv or movies uninterrupted.

  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Happy Birthday. I really hope that you have a peaceful few days. Sorry they went with-o you but enjoy the time alone. Gentle hugs.
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Enjoy the time alone - do some nice things for yourself as gifts for your birthday, whether that means dinner out or doing nothing, or watching your favorite DVD's, mosying around Barnes & Noble, or meeting a friend for lunch, whatever. Just do some things for you and you alone!

    Personally, I would love it if I had the house to myself for a few days. Especially on my birthday, lol.
  8. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    Thanks everyone for your support. You guys gave me a lot of comfort as well as practical advice. It turned out to be a very good thing to have the time alone in my home. Also the three guys (husband and difficult child's) learned a lot about me too,a and what it's like when I'm not around just because they think I should be.

    Jo xx