Staying Married

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Fran, Jan 5, 2008.

  1. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

  2. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Thanks, Fran. It took me a bit of digging to find the interview, the first thing that opened was a promo page for the book.

    And who better to really know where the problems lie, than divorce lawyers?

  3. Scent of Cedar II

    Scent of Cedar II New Member

    Well that must be what happened to me, then. I found two questions and what appeared to be advertising for a book about divorce.

    I will go back and try it again.

  4. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    When I click on above I get "Can this marriage be saved?". Then you page through the different items on the list.

    Sorry. I just thought it would be food for thought for those of us who like to keep on top of being married.

    The in law factor is one of the categories. I'm going to have to be careful when my son's marry. It will be hard for me to not intervene. Hopefully they won't draw me in and I will be wise enough to let them build their lives with their mates. I'd hate to think I would be the cause for my children's divorce. Sigh. Aways something to wonder about.
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    It worked fine for me. You just have to click on "next" to get to the next page and the start of the topic.

    The "in law" reason came as a surprise to me. I guess I was lucky with mine...and exdh was lucky with his. :smile:

  6. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Our in laws are nice. Annoying but we don't involve them in decision making.
    My mother adores husband so it's not a problem. husband doesn't understand mum half the time anyhow. :rofl:
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hmm. Very interesting. I think I've read the AOL story b4 (it is, after all, an advertisement for a book) but it was an interesting reminder.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    As far as the In Law problem and us and our sons...that is one area I am extremely aware of and careful to a T with.

    Im not extremely thrilled with Jamie's choices in mates but I dont say a word. I figure its him that has to live with them and my job is to smile and nod. I never say an ugly word. Well not to anyone that can tell them! I dont get involved in their decision making unless asked specific questions but then I give my opinion and qualify it with "Im sure you will weigh all the options and come up with the best decision for YOUR family." Maybe that is why Billie tells Jamie that I dont try to take over their life like her mother
  9. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Janet, I hope to do as good a job and keeping out of their marriage as you are.
    Distance will probably help. I imagine my boys will not live close by. They will figure it out on their own.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I knew most of those already.

    I got great in laws. Unfortunatly husband can't say the same. Believe me, you NEVER want my mother for an in law. lol

    Seems husband and I've beaten the odds in several areas. Age, whirlwind romance, I was under 20......

    But then I know I had the utter determination to MAKE it work. Now that the kids are grown, I'm finding that I'm not really so determined anymore.

    As for learning to be a mother in law myself.... I learned from the two best women in the world. I keep my nose out of their business as much as possible. Even when they tell me what's going on. I never OFFER advice. And often don't give it even when they directly ask for it.

    sister in law has commented he feels more loved and appreciated by us than his own parents.

    Even Nichole's boyfriend can't complain. While we did go toe to toe once(which wouldn't have happened if he'd had stopped dragging me into their arguments when I told him to), even after that I still treat him with utter kindness and respect. Doesn't much matter that I think he and Nichole shouldn't be together. Not really my business.
  11. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Lisa, I agree that people defy the odds. This is just a general list. I had a whirlwind romance but I was older and ready. I just thought it was interesting food for thought and something to share with our older kids.
  12. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I'm am probably a testament of all the wrong things that can happen. But...I'm still married...
    mother in law from h***--God rest her soul, she was just so caustic
    Whirlwind---okay met in May, married Aug. 1
    2nd marriage---for me---he was 32 and had never been officially engaged
    Addictions---husband's was a long time building, but the signs were there early on
    Step--Children---my pcson---but don't try to tell him husband is not his "real" father
    Money issues---we spend years spending way too much on stupid things---probably still due---they are just bought with cash now.

    But...we are still here....still moving on...

    Marriage is work. It takes compromise and patience and forgiveness.

    I has passed that knowledge on to my children by example.

    For that, I am proud.
  13. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Very cool that you teach your children how you and husband make it in the world. Marriage is definitely a work in progress.
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Well chalk me down as the one that thought it would be easier to go through with it and then get a divorce - my dad even asked me walking DOWN the aisle if I would rather go bass fishing - OH for the days I would have to say yes to that once again.

    And reading it now I think it's probably the dumbest one.