Steely, does he have any hobbies or interests at all? It would be great if he had something to aspire to and to be proud of. Is there an opportunity that he could volunteer for? I know that it isn't a paying job, but that doesn't mean it isn't a need that he can fill and be proud of. It wouldn't even have to be something that he volunteered for on a scheduled basis, but on an as needed basis or a one time basis? Just something for him feel needed.
I was listening to NPR last week, I can't remember which program it was. The man who was talking was a doctor doing a sociological study of some sort in Nepal, I think. Someplace we think of as far away and very different from us. I had tuned in late, so the details escaped me.
But one of the things he spoke about that struck me was that everyone -everyone - in the village had a job and was appreciated. He spoke of man in his twenties who was developmentally disabled in some way. His "job" or place in the community was to gather firewood and water, that type of unskilled labor. No one made fun of him and he was appreciated. His friends and family loved him and he was an asset to the village.
I felt that his point was that when someone values you and what you have to offer, it gives you a reason to value yourself. Can M do some work at a vet or animal shelter, or maybe a library or daycare could use some help with maintenance or filing or envelope stuffing? He's almost 18 years old, is there a political candidate or party that he would like to volunteer for doing photocopies or anything like that? There would be other kids his age there, I'm sure. There's nothing like being appreciated to build self confidence. And maybe if you weren't so worried about him, you would feel better about yourself, too.
