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Step daughter talking to self and very withdrawn
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 714995" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have an grown autistic son. Stepdaughters odd behaviors are not willful defiance. They are due to her autism and I would talk to a SPECIALIST in autism before giving her consequences for something just because it annoys you (I say this gently). It could be one of her stims(look up autistic stims) and probably is not something she can help or that you should get involved with. I agree with your husband. As for one year old, you will have to monitor nine year old with her. She doesnt understand give and take playing, which is part of the bewildering world an autistic child lives in. And her parents. I would not leave them alone.</p><p></p><p>I would let school take care of school and in my opinion you need to read up on autism. Like most people not intimitely touched by autism, you dont understand it. This is the norm. Autistic behavior looks like bad behavior but its not intentionally bad. You married a man with a very special daughter who interacts with the world in the only way she can. Punishing her for autistic behavior could tramatize her. Leave it to experts. You knew your husbands daughter would be challenging before you married him...autism is puzzling and can be difficult. It just is. We adopted our son at age two. Among other things, he didnt sleep much for two years so neither did we!! We had to put a lock high up on all doors or he would leave the house at 2am if we did happen to both fall asleep. He put a penny in our electric socket once, got a shock and killed all our fish in fish tank when he did that. It wasnt easy, but he was loving and sweet and we adored him. Still do.</p><p></p><p>If there is an autism group for parents in the area I would join it.</p><p></p><p>AUTISM IS NOT A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM NOR IS IT BEING NAUGHTY. it is a real neurological difference that those who love her need to help and understand. My son got many school interventions with helped him greatly. He used to sit in his room and talk to himself nonstop and sing. It was okay. He has learned not to blurt things in public but he still has a need to talk to himself at home, in his apartment. Its okay. He is independent and works two jobs and lives alone on his own dime but he tells us he still talks to himself and sings. Never once did we criticize him for autistic behavior. Not once. Yes, it was trying at times, but he got tons of help and got repeatedly better and happier. Stepdaughter should also be getting interventions. If not, that is on the parents, not the child.</p><p></p><p>My son will be 24. Everyone loves him...I do mean everyone. He has more heart than most people and has learned to mirror normal brhavior but he is still different and thats okay...he is wonderful.</p><p></p><p>I am sure your stepdaughter is wonderful too but you need to understand her as does father if he doesnt. Talking to a person who specializes in autism...maybe a neuro psychologist...could help. in my opinion it is harmful to see her as annoying you on purpose or bad...there are people trained to help autistic kids do their best. They are the ones who should help her and guide you...and with kind undetstanding. Regular behavioral therapists dont work with autistic kids.</p><p></p><p>Has she ever had ABA? Has she ever gone to speech, occupational therapy or social skills classes? My son did all this from infancy. Speech is not just sbout pronounciation. It is about learning to communicate normally. Some autistics need to communicate with technology. Autism is in large part a communication disorder and developmental delay. My son didnt speak until 5, but he can communicate with everyone now. But he got a lot of help and seems higher functioning than your stepdaughter. Still...she can progress but you two need guidance from a specialist in autism.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Please be patient. And know it wont be easy. Developmentally she is very far behind her peers. It is the way of autism.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 714995, member: 1550"] I have an grown autistic son. Stepdaughters odd behaviors are not willful defiance. They are due to her autism and I would talk to a SPECIALIST in autism before giving her consequences for something just because it annoys you (I say this gently). It could be one of her stims(look up autistic stims) and probably is not something she can help or that you should get involved with. I agree with your husband. As for one year old, you will have to monitor nine year old with her. She doesnt understand give and take playing, which is part of the bewildering world an autistic child lives in. And her parents. I would not leave them alone. I would let school take care of school and in my opinion you need to read up on autism. Like most people not intimitely touched by autism, you dont understand it. This is the norm. Autistic behavior looks like bad behavior but its not intentionally bad. You married a man with a very special daughter who interacts with the world in the only way she can. Punishing her for autistic behavior could tramatize her. Leave it to experts. You knew your husbands daughter would be challenging before you married him...autism is puzzling and can be difficult. It just is. We adopted our son at age two. Among other things, he didnt sleep much for two years so neither did we!! We had to put a lock high up on all doors or he would leave the house at 2am if we did happen to both fall asleep. He put a penny in our electric socket once, got a shock and killed all our fish in fish tank when he did that. It wasnt easy, but he was loving and sweet and we adored him. Still do. If there is an autism group for parents in the area I would join it. AUTISM IS NOT A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM NOR IS IT BEING NAUGHTY. it is a real neurological difference that those who love her need to help and understand. My son got many school interventions with helped him greatly. He used to sit in his room and talk to himself nonstop and sing. It was okay. He has learned not to blurt things in public but he still has a need to talk to himself at home, in his apartment. Its okay. He is independent and works two jobs and lives alone on his own dime but he tells us he still talks to himself and sings. Never once did we criticize him for autistic behavior. Not once. Yes, it was trying at times, but he got tons of help and got repeatedly better and happier. Stepdaughter should also be getting interventions. If not, that is on the parents, not the child. My son will be 24. Everyone loves him...I do mean everyone. He has more heart than most people and has learned to mirror normal brhavior but he is still different and thats okay...he is wonderful. I am sure your stepdaughter is wonderful too but you need to understand her as does father if he doesnt. Talking to a person who specializes in autism...maybe a neuro psychologist...could help. in my opinion it is harmful to see her as annoying you on purpose or bad...there are people trained to help autistic kids do their best. They are the ones who should help her and guide you...and with kind undetstanding. Regular behavioral therapists dont work with autistic kids. Has she ever had ABA? Has she ever gone to speech, occupational therapy or social skills classes? My son did all this from infancy. Speech is not just sbout pronounciation. It is about learning to communicate normally. Some autistics need to communicate with technology. Autism is in large part a communication disorder and developmental delay. My son didnt speak until 5, but he can communicate with everyone now. But he got a lot of help and seems higher functioning than your stepdaughter. Still...she can progress but you two need guidance from a specialist in autism. Good luck. Please be patient. And know it wont be easy. Developmentally she is very far behind her peers. It is the way of autism. [/QUOTE]
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