Step Kids and pot....

[mk69]

I will try and keep this short and to the point. Both my step kids are walking a fine line with their habit, which I also believe to be a source of income. My husband and I have an unwritten agreement that we discipline our own children, as they are young adults. That being said he has discussions with them but there is never any consequence for their wrong doings. I was present for one discussion where they were informed if they are caught (by him) they will be asked to leave and live elsewhere, we will have zero tolerance for this in our home. So alternatively they hide things in our garage. My husband is aware that he has let things get out of control, but like many other parents of split marriage is afraid of losing his kids. I am struggling with how to deal with this moving forward. He says he disapproves, but his kids just seem to come and go an do as they please. Their mother remarried and the step dad has ZERO tolerance, and because of this the boys seldom go to her house. I love my husband dearly, and do not want this to be the undoing of our marriage. Any advice or suggestions would be welcomed.

 

[RN0441]

Welcome. You did not say how old your stepchildren are but they they are adults so assuming 18+

We have had a lot of problems with our son over drugs and alcohol and he is no longer in our home. However, I am also a step parent to husband's older son and he is a step parent to my older son (our youngest problem child is OURS together) and I KNOW how tricky that can all be.

What we did with OUR son when we were at our wits end - when we hit rock bottom as parents - was go see a therapist ONCE together to come up with a game plan. My husband is not big on therapists but said he would go IF and only IF, I agreed to do whatever the therapist said. I agreed.

The wonderful thing is they CAN go to their mother's house and maybe that is what needs to happen. Your husband will not "lose" his children for disciplining them. Someday they will understand that. Neither of you can worry about that or they will be running your home. Do not live in a FOG (fear, obligation, resentment).

I'm not saying your situation is as serious as ours was, but it's good to have an unbiased opinion. Yes!! You do NOT want this to come between you two and it can and it will!!