heavenhelpme
New Member
Well I'm a newbie to this site, but definately not a stranger to the demanding world of raising a CD child.
I was reading some of the forums on this site and I'm glad I did. For three years I have felt like I was all alone in my disfunctional world.
I have been with my stepson since he was 2 1/2 months old and I love him with all of my heart, but sometimes I wonder how much more I can take. He is only 10 and he has already been on the verge of being expelled from school for stealing constantly (it took extreme begging on my part to keep him in school), he has shoplifted, has had misappropriate interaction with little girls, he has started major family feuds between myself, my husband, and my extended family by telling lies, he whines constantly, defies everything that's said to him, he has such anger that he constantly yells, screams, and jumps in my face, he has disrupted our nieghbors lives by peeing in their yard and throwing our trash into their yards, he constantly blames others for his actions and has no guilt when he does something wrong, he manipulates everyone who stands in his way of getting what he wants. What's worse is he can hide this behavior from the family members that only see him for short periods of time and not on a regular basis, so of course there is great tension in the family because they don't understand why we do what we do. Although I have always been the one there to take care of him and do what is best for him I am constantly judged because "I'm stepmom." Instead of seeing that my son has a problem, my husband's family would rather place blame on me and my son senses that and uses it to get as much "poor me time" as possible.
We have done and are doing therapy, incentive charts, rewards, praise, one on one attention, nothing seems to help. When he is rewarded or earns a "prize" all he does is complain about what he didn't get or didn't get to do. Praising him causes severe spike in the negative behavior.
We have two other children in the home and they are started to act out to the constant struggle going on in the home. It's really starting to scare me and for as much as I love my oldest son I'm starting to wonder if I am too weak to help him. I really have no idea where to go from here. Is it time to walk away. Everytime I start to be hopeful about my family's chance of survival, something happens to remind me how deeply in trouble we truly are.
I was reading some of the forums on this site and I'm glad I did. For three years I have felt like I was all alone in my disfunctional world.
I have been with my stepson since he was 2 1/2 months old and I love him with all of my heart, but sometimes I wonder how much more I can take. He is only 10 and he has already been on the verge of being expelled from school for stealing constantly (it took extreme begging on my part to keep him in school), he has shoplifted, has had misappropriate interaction with little girls, he has started major family feuds between myself, my husband, and my extended family by telling lies, he whines constantly, defies everything that's said to him, he has such anger that he constantly yells, screams, and jumps in my face, he has disrupted our nieghbors lives by peeing in their yard and throwing our trash into their yards, he constantly blames others for his actions and has no guilt when he does something wrong, he manipulates everyone who stands in his way of getting what he wants. What's worse is he can hide this behavior from the family members that only see him for short periods of time and not on a regular basis, so of course there is great tension in the family because they don't understand why we do what we do. Although I have always been the one there to take care of him and do what is best for him I am constantly judged because "I'm stepmom." Instead of seeing that my son has a problem, my husband's family would rather place blame on me and my son senses that and uses it to get as much "poor me time" as possible.
We have done and are doing therapy, incentive charts, rewards, praise, one on one attention, nothing seems to help. When he is rewarded or earns a "prize" all he does is complain about what he didn't get or didn't get to do. Praising him causes severe spike in the negative behavior.
We have two other children in the home and they are started to act out to the constant struggle going on in the home. It's really starting to scare me and for as much as I love my oldest son I'm starting to wonder if I am too weak to help him. I really have no idea where to go from here. Is it time to walk away. Everytime I start to be hopeful about my family's chance of survival, something happens to remind me how deeply in trouble we truly are.