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step-MOM feeling stepped on!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 67216"><p>All is familiar. No charts, praise, rewards ever worked with my son. What DID/DOES work is removing things. No computer, no phone, no game system, no ipod..etc. He must then earn them back. it is not a one day removal or a time limit removal. He only gets them back when he earns it with good respectable behavior.</p><p></p><p>At one point I had a notebook and wrote down everything that went on in a day. Good or bad. That was for me. lol. Because I was so frustrated and caught up in the power struggle that I would forget all the things that happened. Especially the good. Because at the point when he has the life sucked out of me it is hard to remember the good. So..writing it down helped a lot.</p><p></p><p>counseling didn't work. He wouldn't talk. He does take the initiative to seek out the social worker at school. he has a great relationship with her. </p><p></p><p>Does your son have an IEP? Anyone he can seek out when he is frustrated? As adults we can find a way to release our frustrations, as a child you are limited. So, anyone that he can trust would do him really good. The counselor at the elementary school was his guardian angel. He is going into his last year of middle school, and still keeps in contact with the counselor from elementary school. We were told by her, and by the current social worker at school that they will not tell us what he talks about unless it is a danger to him or someone else. I never asked. He knows what he talks about is confidential and he opens up completely.</p><p></p><p>We also have in place a plan so if he ever ends up in a situation, or a place that is not safe, or there are things going on (party, drug use, drinking) he has someone to call. Not us. They will come get him any time, day, night. They will not tell us immediately. Giving him the chance to do so. Giving him a safe place. Have not had to use it, but glad we have that plan.</p><p></p><p>Hope things begin to ease up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 67216"] All is familiar. No charts, praise, rewards ever worked with my son. What DID/DOES work is removing things. No computer, no phone, no game system, no ipod..etc. He must then earn them back. it is not a one day removal or a time limit removal. He only gets them back when he earns it with good respectable behavior. At one point I had a notebook and wrote down everything that went on in a day. Good or bad. That was for me. lol. Because I was so frustrated and caught up in the power struggle that I would forget all the things that happened. Especially the good. Because at the point when he has the life sucked out of me it is hard to remember the good. So..writing it down helped a lot. counseling didn't work. He wouldn't talk. He does take the initiative to seek out the social worker at school. he has a great relationship with her. Does your son have an IEP? Anyone he can seek out when he is frustrated? As adults we can find a way to release our frustrations, as a child you are limited. So, anyone that he can trust would do him really good. The counselor at the elementary school was his guardian angel. He is going into his last year of middle school, and still keeps in contact with the counselor from elementary school. We were told by her, and by the current social worker at school that they will not tell us what he talks about unless it is a danger to him or someone else. I never asked. He knows what he talks about is confidential and he opens up completely. We also have in place a plan so if he ever ends up in a situation, or a place that is not safe, or there are things going on (party, drug use, drinking) he has someone to call. Not us. They will come get him any time, day, night. They will not tell us immediately. Giving him the chance to do so. Giving him a safe place. Have not had to use it, but glad we have that plan. Hope things begin to ease up. [/QUOTE]
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