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step-MOM feeling stepped on!!
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<blockquote data-quote="CookieMomster" data-source="post: 67618" data-attributes="member: 3936"><p>oh boy do I relate. I WAS a step mom. I was here all day everyday looking for sanity. My step son had same problems before me and after me.... but it was all my fault according to his family and the school..because he had different rules than the ones my "natural" children had...due to HIS behaviors. </p><p></p><p>I could write you a book. We moms are driven to be good moms..want to feel good...and anyone who makes us feel bad is a direct hit. </p><p>I deveoloped a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Strss Disorder at the hands of my former difficult child/his family/the school. I took it all a bit to personally i suppose...and then...I divorced the love of my life to remove the difficult child from mine and my childrens misery, and to provide us with safety. I felt bad to "abandon" the child...and I still do..to an extent...BUT sheesh...I sleep at night most nights now.</p><p></p><p>Someone here gave me some advice that HELPED me smile at bedtime once. It didnt always work but when it did...oh my gosh.</p><p></p><p>SMILE AND BE BIZARRE when they are off on their trip to make you nuts.</p><p>*while gardening with child beside you..grab their hand and put it in the dirt...cover with dirt and tell them to stay still...get water..water the lump and do a dance acting really goofy...</p><p>while this does nothing to help the child...you will laugh your butt off that night in bed...lol</p><p></p><p>seriously. get help. family thinks they can do better...while i know you dont want your child there as they probably will allow him to do things you wont.... DO IT. let them have him. YOU are important and YOU need a break. When you pick him/her up ..and family complains about things say "well good he was normal for you"...or if they say they had no problem then make arrangements for the next visit then.</p><p>PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Find time for your bio and/or easy child children away from the DRAMA around the difficult child. My kids resented the time my difficult child took..and the fact I was a b*tch most the time with ruined moods by difficult child. Family outting were cancelled because difficult child didnt deserve to go...or he was taken and I had to sit with him while the others had fun....and my former husband...made me feel like a single mother too... I did all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CookieMomster, post: 67618, member: 3936"] oh boy do I relate. I WAS a step mom. I was here all day everyday looking for sanity. My step son had same problems before me and after me.... but it was all my fault according to his family and the school..because he had different rules than the ones my "natural" children had...due to HIS behaviors. I could write you a book. We moms are driven to be good moms..want to feel good...and anyone who makes us feel bad is a direct hit. I deveoloped a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Strss Disorder at the hands of my former difficult child/his family/the school. I took it all a bit to personally i suppose...and then...I divorced the love of my life to remove the difficult child from mine and my childrens misery, and to provide us with safety. I felt bad to "abandon" the child...and I still do..to an extent...BUT sheesh...I sleep at night most nights now. Someone here gave me some advice that HELPED me smile at bedtime once. It didnt always work but when it did...oh my gosh. SMILE AND BE BIZARRE when they are off on their trip to make you nuts. *while gardening with child beside you..grab their hand and put it in the dirt...cover with dirt and tell them to stay still...get water..water the lump and do a dance acting really goofy... while this does nothing to help the child...you will laugh your butt off that night in bed...lol seriously. get help. family thinks they can do better...while i know you dont want your child there as they probably will allow him to do things you wont.... DO IT. let them have him. YOU are important and YOU need a break. When you pick him/her up ..and family complains about things say "well good he was normal for you"...or if they say they had no problem then make arrangements for the next visit then. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Find time for your bio and/or easy child children away from the DRAMA around the difficult child. My kids resented the time my difficult child took..and the fact I was a b*tch most the time with ruined moods by difficult child. Family outting were cancelled because difficult child didnt deserve to go...or he was taken and I had to sit with him while the others had fun....and my former husband...made me feel like a single mother too... I did all. [/QUOTE]
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