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Parent Emeritus
Still can't get the right way to deal with this.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 761837" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Glenna</p><p></p><p>Hello and welcome. There are two different issues here as I see it. One is her conduct and treatment towards you:</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>plus the broken stuff of yours--her destruction of your property. There has to be a bottom line, where we matter, and the only ones who will draw the line, are us. And below is the second issue. It seems you have been trying to rectify what you believe was a wrong done to your daughter, by your mother and another person, while you were ill:</p><p></p><p>And it has not worked. For some reason it seems you hold yourself responsible, even though you were ill, but of course, I don't know the circumstances. The thing is this: Your daughter is an adult. When we become adults, we are responsible for our own lives, even if what has been done to us is unfair or abusive. Your daughter is responsible to fix herself and her own life. Perhaps, and understandably so, you can't bear that her children be vulnerable to her and you let yourself be mistreated, along with your house, as a means of protecting the children, and keeping them close. All of us, could understand this. </p><p></p><p>But the thing is, you've exposed yourself to collateral damage, to be destroyed. I really don't believe that anything good ever comes by submitting myself to be destroyed, demeaned, belittled, and used. It sure sounds like this is what is happening.</p><p></p><p>I believe you've come to the right place. Because all of us here have been in this situation in one form or another. Others will come along soon. I hope you continue posting. It really does help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 761837, member: 18958"] Dear Glenna Hello and welcome. There are two different issues here as I see it. One is her conduct and treatment towards you: plus the broken stuff of yours--her destruction of your property. There has to be a bottom line, where we matter, and the only ones who will draw the line, are us. And below is the second issue. It seems you have been trying to rectify what you believe was a wrong done to your daughter, by your mother and another person, while you were ill: And it has not worked. For some reason it seems you hold yourself responsible, even though you were ill, but of course, I don't know the circumstances. The thing is this: Your daughter is an adult. When we become adults, we are responsible for our own lives, even if what has been done to us is unfair or abusive. Your daughter is responsible to fix herself and her own life. Perhaps, and understandably so, you can't bear that her children be vulnerable to her and you let yourself be mistreated, along with your house, as a means of protecting the children, and keeping them close. All of us, could understand this. But the thing is, you've exposed yourself to collateral damage, to be destroyed. I really don't believe that anything good ever comes by submitting myself to be destroyed, demeaned, belittled, and used. It sure sounds like this is what is happening. I believe you've come to the right place. Because all of us here have been in this situation in one form or another. Others will come along soon. I hope you continue posting. It really does help. [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
Still can't get the right way to deal with this.
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