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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Still on the downside of the track, need to vent.
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 31345" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>Thanks, all for your words of support and advice. I truly appreciate both the effort to help, and the experiences behind what you're saying.</p><p></p><p>I don't want to harp on the school issue too much, but the most important thing about that situation is NOT the degree. GED or diploma, it doesn't really matter to me because (a) He doesn't have any idea what he's doing after HS, (b) neither will keep him out of college, if that's where he chooses to go, and (c) the diploma isn't the most important reason to keep him in that school.</p><p></p><p>The real reason for keeping him in school is that he's actually changed his ways for the better. The teachers at the alt. ed. school seem to have found a way to get him to be responsible, participate in class, and actually invest in his future. That's a behaviour that's been desparately lacking in him for years. I could care less if he got the degree, as long as he stays in that school and starts to "deprogram" some of the junk habits and self-images he adopted before we started down this path. </p><p></p><p>He says he wants the degree, and I want him to stay in that school for my own, different reasons. I don't tell him that, though, because he would instantly rebel since it's MY goal, not his own. So instead, I simply agree with his goal and support him; conflict avoided, and I get what I want (which is also in his best interests, long term).</p><p>==========================================</p><p>So, now for an update: difficult child did end up going to his therpist last night. Came back in a really good mood, and the therapist didn't call (which he said he would do if there was anything critical that needed to be discussed prior to <strong>our</strong> next meeting).</p><p></p><p>So, that's a start.</p><p></p><p>Something else happened as well. My older son went yesterday to try and get into the Navy. He was completely turned down for the jobs he wanted because he is colorblind, and came home completely depressed. This morning, wife and difficult child were discussing how my older son's dreams were basically smushed. </p><p></p><p>wife was expecting a "sucks to be him" attitude in reply. Instead, though, difficult child actually responded kindly, saying that maybe it just wasn't meant to be, but that when some doors shut others open. He also said he thought this might have happened "for a reason", and he was certain his older brother would eventually find that something better was waiting for him as a result.</p><p></p><p>Hunh? This is <strong>my</strong> son? Sounded almost, <em>mature</em>, and even somewhat like a person with a little faith in something beyond his own cunning brain {gasp}.</p><p></p><p>Oh well, I'll take the good days and cherish them. Memories like that get me through the bad times (which I'm sure will keep on coming for a while).</p><p></p><p>Also, I'm going to hold off on the drugs and booze issue until after I get back the test results. I know the booze has to be dealt with, but if there's something else "in the mix" I want to hit it all at once.</p><p></p><p>Thanks again, everyone. I'll keep you posted.</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 31345, member: 3579"] Thanks, all for your words of support and advice. I truly appreciate both the effort to help, and the experiences behind what you're saying. I don't want to harp on the school issue too much, but the most important thing about that situation is NOT the degree. GED or diploma, it doesn't really matter to me because (a) He doesn't have any idea what he's doing after HS, (b) neither will keep him out of college, if that's where he chooses to go, and (c) the diploma isn't the most important reason to keep him in that school. The real reason for keeping him in school is that he's actually changed his ways for the better. The teachers at the alt. ed. school seem to have found a way to get him to be responsible, participate in class, and actually invest in his future. That's a behaviour that's been desparately lacking in him for years. I could care less if he got the degree, as long as he stays in that school and starts to "deprogram" some of the junk habits and self-images he adopted before we started down this path. He says he wants the degree, and I want him to stay in that school for my own, different reasons. I don't tell him that, though, because he would instantly rebel since it's MY goal, not his own. So instead, I simply agree with his goal and support him; conflict avoided, and I get what I want (which is also in his best interests, long term). ========================================== So, now for an update: difficult child did end up going to his therpist last night. Came back in a really good mood, and the therapist didn't call (which he said he would do if there was anything critical that needed to be discussed prior to [b]our[/b] next meeting). So, that's a start. Something else happened as well. My older son went yesterday to try and get into the Navy. He was completely turned down for the jobs he wanted because he is colorblind, and came home completely depressed. This morning, wife and difficult child were discussing how my older son's dreams were basically smushed. wife was expecting a "sucks to be him" attitude in reply. Instead, though, difficult child actually responded kindly, saying that maybe it just wasn't meant to be, but that when some doors shut others open. He also said he thought this might have happened "for a reason", and he was certain his older brother would eventually find that something better was waiting for him as a result. Hunh? This is [b]my[/b] son? Sounded almost, [i]mature[/i], and even somewhat like a person with a little faith in something beyond his own cunning brain {gasp}. Oh well, I'll take the good days and cherish them. Memories like that get me through the bad times (which I'm sure will keep on coming for a while). Also, I'm going to hold off on the drugs and booze issue until after I get back the test results. I know the booze has to be dealt with, but if there's something else "in the mix" I want to hit it all at once. Thanks again, everyone. I'll keep you posted. Mikey [/QUOTE]
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Still on the downside of the track, need to vent.
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