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Parent Emeritus
Still the fool, got sucked in and spat out!
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 653883" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>Billy63 --- So sorry to hear of your recently feeling "sucker-punched". Your post really caught me because that's the exact phrase I used to use for how I felt. Yep. I felt sucker-punched.</p><p></p><p>The interesting thing is that I haven't used that phrase in many years now.........like, maybe 10 years? Somewhere along the way, I had to let go. Just had to. It is simply not possible for ONE person to live TWO lives. I can only life MY life (and I choose to!) and my son can only life HIS life (whether or not he chooses to is up to him).</p><p></p><p>Your caring heart is strong and good! It's just not possible for YOUR heart to lead HIS life. If it were, we'd all do it and bottle it and sell it. Just like you, we tried (and tried and tried and tried). Sometimes we still "try" (however, we remind ourselves much more quickly that it's not possible for US to change HIM. HE has to change HIM. (pardon the CAPS!)</p><p></p><p>10 years later, I find a great deal more compassion and acceptance. Not perfect (not even close!), but more peace and acceptance.</p><p></p><p>There is life on the other side of "letting go". It's clearer, stronger, less crazy, more empowered and, in many many ways......more compassionate (toward ourselves and toward them). For some reason, I didn't think "letting go" would increase compassion. But it surely did.</p><p></p><p>Boundaries don't limit love, they only limit pain (for us AND for them). </p><p></p><p>We're with you, we support you on your journey, Billy63, and we wrap a virtual embrace around you now.</p><p></p><p>Bottom line? You don't deserve to be "sucker-punched" (by your son, yourself, or anyone else!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 653883, member: 18284"] Billy63 --- So sorry to hear of your recently feeling "sucker-punched". Your post really caught me because that's the exact phrase I used to use for how I felt. Yep. I felt sucker-punched. The interesting thing is that I haven't used that phrase in many years now.........like, maybe 10 years? Somewhere along the way, I had to let go. Just had to. It is simply not possible for ONE person to live TWO lives. I can only life MY life (and I choose to!) and my son can only life HIS life (whether or not he chooses to is up to him). Your caring heart is strong and good! It's just not possible for YOUR heart to lead HIS life. If it were, we'd all do it and bottle it and sell it. Just like you, we tried (and tried and tried and tried). Sometimes we still "try" (however, we remind ourselves much more quickly that it's not possible for US to change HIM. HE has to change HIM. (pardon the CAPS!) 10 years later, I find a great deal more compassion and acceptance. Not perfect (not even close!), but more peace and acceptance. There is life on the other side of "letting go". It's clearer, stronger, less crazy, more empowered and, in many many ways......more compassionate (toward ourselves and toward them). For some reason, I didn't think "letting go" would increase compassion. But it surely did. Boundaries don't limit love, they only limit pain (for us AND for them). We're with you, we support you on your journey, Billy63, and we wrap a virtual embrace around you now. Bottom line? You don't deserve to be "sucker-punched" (by your son, yourself, or anyone else!) [/QUOTE]
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Still the fool, got sucked in and spat out!
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