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Parent Emeritus
Still wont even attempt to solve his own problems
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 667195" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Oh boy does that all sound familiar. When I get those types of calls from Oldest, I sometimes just give a standard, "that s**ks" reply. It's especially easy to do that via text <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>I used to attempt advice, now I avoid it. It finally occurred to me that she rarely outright *asks* me for advice, she just wants to whine (or attempt to manipulate me into helping her, without her asking) -- so I've done my best to adopt a policy of not offering advice or help if I'm not specifically asked. I mean, if she's not asking, why should I bother? </p><p></p><p>If she says, "what should I do?" I might try to give suggestions -- but since those are frequently met with replies of "I can't because [insert excuse]" it's sometimes a wasted effort. Sometimes I just say, "I don't know, what do you think you should do?" If she says, "will you do {insert request for assistance} for me?" it can be a bit tougher -- I hate being caught off guard and that's when I'm most likely to give in. I find it's better to simply say, "let me think about it." Unless of course I'm 100% certain it's a "no," then I just say, "sorry I can't."</p><p></p><p>Happy Birthday, by the way <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Hope you had a wonderful vacation!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 667195, member: 1157"] Oh boy does that all sound familiar. When I get those types of calls from Oldest, I sometimes just give a standard, "that s**ks" reply. It's especially easy to do that via text :) I used to attempt advice, now I avoid it. It finally occurred to me that she rarely outright *asks* me for advice, she just wants to whine (or attempt to manipulate me into helping her, without her asking) -- so I've done my best to adopt a policy of not offering advice or help if I'm not specifically asked. I mean, if she's not asking, why should I bother? If she says, "what should I do?" I might try to give suggestions -- but since those are frequently met with replies of "I can't because [insert excuse]" it's sometimes a wasted effort. Sometimes I just say, "I don't know, what do you think you should do?" If she says, "will you do {insert request for assistance} for me?" it can be a bit tougher -- I hate being caught off guard and that's when I'm most likely to give in. I find it's better to simply say, "let me think about it." Unless of course I'm 100% certain it's a "no," then I just say, "sorry I can't." Happy Birthday, by the way :) Hope you had a wonderful vacation! [/QUOTE]
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Still wont even attempt to solve his own problems
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