Stings a bit.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, Mar 23, 2010.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    easy child 1 has now met his bio-father and half-siblings. I haven't asked much, but it seems it went well. I have told him that I'm fine with it, and if I don't say much, its cause I'm not sure what to say, but feel free to talk about it. He said he likes his sisters. I don't know if that means he didn't like bio-father, or just that he really liked the sisters.
    I am happy from the perspective that he will never have to experience the rejection of not being wanted. That was a conversation I never wanted to have to have with him. So that part of me is relieved. He has an opportunity to know this man.
    However, as with all things new, instead of chatting with me off and on thru the day, he now chats with them. Mostly the sisters. They are cool. They have a cool dog. You know...all things new are shiny and cool.
    He will never have to be disciplined by that man. He will never have to experience being annoyed by the sisters as they all grew up. Bio-father has been married (tho not exactly happily) for 20 years and live close to extended family. He'll never have to experience being told "no" by them because they can't afford something, you know, just all the things in life that make it...well, life.
    And it just stings a bit.
    I know, chances are, in time, the new will wear off, and "rusty trusty" will still be there (aka, me), but it still hurts.
    I'll have my pity party and move on. Thanks for listening.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    My guess is that this statement sums it all up.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I totally agree. You have to get past the stinging part ... I know how it feels ... and let it all play out. He WILL eventually get it.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    The newness will wear off. I'm not so sure about the "No" part or squabbling with sisters. You may be surprised, and so might he.

    Terry is right. He WILL get it. He most likely already does, he's just not ready to admit it.

  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    by the way, Shari, in the "misery loves company dept," my niece, a difficult child, just met her bio dad this yr. Mr Bigshot Hero has already given her a computer and cell ph with-promises of more to come, and has told her how awful her mom (my sister) is, not allowing them to speak all of these yrs, kept them apart, kept them closed up and hidden, never mind that my sister is a professional public speaker and has a huge web page and links all over kingdom come, and uses her real name. Ex is on his way to jail for stealing umpteen thousands of dollars. Niece difficult child is no longer speaking to him, no longer speaking to my sister, just got her car impounded for owing traffic tickets (saw it on Facebook). Wonder who she's taking out all her anger on right now?
    Sigh. Don't know if it's that bad for you, but I suspect your son will have to lick his wounds for a while.
  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Oh, no, Terry, its not that bad.

    He just usually texts me a couple times thru the day and such, and hasn't been. I just got the cell phone bill and saw why...cause they're getting the chit-chatting. Coupled with the other comments he's made (and they weren't made to be ugly), I'm just feeling a bit like Woody when Buzz shows up in Toy Story.

    I'm really impressed with how he has handled it all, actually. I'm not sure where bio's story of "she kept you from me" ended up, but I trust that it has been handled, as well, tho I don't know. And I'm never sure how much to ask...what's appropriate and what's not, ya know? I even debated sending them all a friend request on facebook, but I haven't. I always think its best for the kids if everyone can get along, but that doesn't always work out so well, so maybe its best to let sleeping dogs lie.

    I don't know of any promises of new stuff or anything else...can't imagine, actually, that this guy could afford to promise too much. And I think his wife loathes the notion of easy child being in their who knows.

    In time, things will become "normal" again.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, Shari. Miss KT put her father on a huge pedestal, and fell hard when he showed her who he really was. I hope it works out better for your easy child 1. I just hate it when our kids get hurt.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm just feeling a bit like Woody when Buzz shows up in Toy Story.

    Ohhh, that's so sad. What an image.