I am in emotional overload. When did my Dad die, 2 months ago? I had been flying up to Oregon once a month since September to be with him. Thankfully the last two weeks I was there to help him pass through to the other side. Two weeks later I went to Dallas to help my Mom pack my childhood home up, and get it ready for market. I spent another 2 weeks there, going through every thing and memory possible as we took hundreds of boxes to good will or to storage for them to be moved to Oregon. I have been back in Arizona 2 weeks. I am FINALLY getting to a place where I can find some peace. I have been gardening, and writing, and hiking. I mean for the first time in a year, the other day, I felt truly happy for awhile. My mom calls me last night. The for sale sign has been in her yard ONE day, and she already has a contract on the house. OK really???? In what world does this happen? It actually hit me really hard. I was caught really off guard. It was like the last piece of stability I had remaining, "mom and dad's house" is now gone - which also means my dad is really gone. I felt like I had the air knocked out of me. A million feeling started re-surfacing. Shoot I haven't even had time to process the current set of feelings. So now she would like me to come back to Dallas to get rid of the furniture that we left in the house for showing the house. And then we need to drive the things in storage from Dallas to Oregon. Um, yea. That is a VERY long drive. I am tired. I want a life. But I am sure she does too. Let's see THEN the entire family wants to scatter my Dad's ashes on July 10th in Oregon, on a mountain, the same mountain where my sister's ashes are scattered. I cannot even tell you how emotional that sounds. It makes me feel physically ill. At this rate I might as well just stay in Oregon until August. Oh wait, I have a dog. And I need my life to have some order, structure, some defining edges.I could refuse to do any of this - but I won't. It is just me. Why would I put my needs over my mom's? I am sure she feels even worse than I do. Then a friend/acquaintance that has been staying in my mom's house in Dallas calls me last night. OH WOW, is all I have to say. She proceeds to tell me that she knows it is H.'s spirit that made the house sell so fast, because now that my dad is also in the spirit world, H. doesn't want her spirit in the house anymore. Ummm, OK? ............ Then she tells me that she sees shadows in the backyard all the time, and she is sure they are H.'s. She tells me she feels H all the time in the house, including dreams, etc., and she is sure H wants out of the house and to move on. Ummm, maybe?................... OK - I can't really process that information!!! I got off the phone and cried forever, and I don't even know why. I don't really believe what she said, but it creeped me out - and - well made me intensely upset. Again not sure why. I guess I just needed to write all of this down, in hopes of trying to get some rationale and sanity to it all. I am super tired of dealing with death, and the ramifications - and I need this merry go round to stop. On top of it all, the sexual abuse memories that were so part of my childhood are flashing back at me and I can't stop feeling and having nightmares about them. I don't know why when the spoon goes into the pot it has to stir everything. What about just affecting the matter at hand, not my entire world of issues. I am trying Skpe with my counselor in Dallas tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed it works. I am not sure my remote internet access will allow that much info to run through their satellite.