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Stopping a hysterical difficult child....how??
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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 26915" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>Hanging-On,</p><p></p><p>I think Dreamer has a good point. Both of my difficult children take their showers in the evening. I have them get as much done as possible the night before - We leave their backpacks in the mud room. When they're done with their homework, they are responsible for packing their backpacks before they have reward time. I must have any notes, papers, etc. from the school that need to be signed as soon as they come home. I also have them take out their clothes for the next day in the evening. I think having them bathe at night would probably save you a great deal of time.</p><p></p><p>When difficult child 2 is in the middle of a "melt-down", asking him to do something only aggrevates the situation. The only thing that seems to help is if he is totally ignored until he calms down. Your difficult child is alot younger than mine. Maybe if he is "melting" you could help him get dressed. Then when he gets home from school, have a talk with him about how he is getting to be so big and how proud you would be if he got himself dressed in the morning without help. My difficult child 2 responds extremely well to praise. In fact, with my difficult child 2, you can manipulate him into doing what needs to be done with lots of praise.</p><p></p><p>Maybe you could have him get dressed by himself on the weekends, school vacations, and in the summer when you aren't as rushed. Do you believe in sticker charts for good behavior? If so, then maybe making a sticker chart for what has to be done in the mornings would help. You could put it on the refrigerator where he would see it often. Or, you could make one to put on the wall in his room. If he got so many stickers on the chart during the school week, he could "earn" a reward. In my house, my difficult children "earn" reward time for good behavior. During reward time, they are allowed to play computer games, watch movies, etc...</p><p></p><p>I also think its great that you have difficult child do as much as possible for himself! Like you, I don't think we're doing our difficult children any favors by doing too much for them.</p><p></p><p>Another thought, if you didn't have to work, you could let natural consequences happen. For instance, if difficult child didn't get dressed, he would be late for school. Maybe you could think of natural consequences for difficult child on the weekends. If he wants pancakes, maybe you could say that if he dresses quickly you'll have time to make them. If he is too slow, he'll have to have cereal. Or, you could fix him pancakes and if he is too slow, they'll be cold by the time he gets to the breakfast table.</p><p></p><p>Just a few ideas. I think I'm rambling... I understand your frustration!!! I've been there many times. Hugs. WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 26915, member: 3388"] Hanging-On, I think Dreamer has a good point. Both of my difficult children take their showers in the evening. I have them get as much done as possible the night before - We leave their backpacks in the mud room. When they're done with their homework, they are responsible for packing their backpacks before they have reward time. I must have any notes, papers, etc. from the school that need to be signed as soon as they come home. I also have them take out their clothes for the next day in the evening. I think having them bathe at night would probably save you a great deal of time. When difficult child 2 is in the middle of a "melt-down", asking him to do something only aggrevates the situation. The only thing that seems to help is if he is totally ignored until he calms down. Your difficult child is alot younger than mine. Maybe if he is "melting" you could help him get dressed. Then when he gets home from school, have a talk with him about how he is getting to be so big and how proud you would be if he got himself dressed in the morning without help. My difficult child 2 responds extremely well to praise. In fact, with my difficult child 2, you can manipulate him into doing what needs to be done with lots of praise. Maybe you could have him get dressed by himself on the weekends, school vacations, and in the summer when you aren't as rushed. Do you believe in sticker charts for good behavior? If so, then maybe making a sticker chart for what has to be done in the mornings would help. You could put it on the refrigerator where he would see it often. Or, you could make one to put on the wall in his room. If he got so many stickers on the chart during the school week, he could "earn" a reward. In my house, my difficult children "earn" reward time for good behavior. During reward time, they are allowed to play computer games, watch movies, etc... I also think its great that you have difficult child do as much as possible for himself! Like you, I don't think we're doing our difficult children any favors by doing too much for them. Another thought, if you didn't have to work, you could let natural consequences happen. For instance, if difficult child didn't get dressed, he would be late for school. Maybe you could think of natural consequences for difficult child on the weekends. If he wants pancakes, maybe you could say that if he dresses quickly you'll have time to make them. If he is too slow, he'll have to have cereal. Or, you could fix him pancakes and if he is too slow, they'll be cold by the time he gets to the breakfast table. Just a few ideas. I think I'm rambling... I understand your frustration!!! I've been there many times. Hugs. WFEN [/QUOTE]
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