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General Parenting
Stopping Negativity in its Tracks???
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<blockquote data-quote="EB67" data-source="post: 57708" data-attributes="member: 3750"><p>Seb is mired in negativity. He has the distinct ability to find the dark cloud in the silver lining. In his case, he is not in search of "normal". In fact, he eschews "normal" and complans about the same-ness of everything and everyone. He complains about people being small minded and dull. I curse the day he picked up the words "small-minded"-- he throws it around alot.</p><p></p><p>Seb's negativity is coupled with arrogance. The other day we were at a Japanese restaurant with friends. The kids, without exception wanted plain chicken, the adults ordered basic maki rolls. Seb landed all of them with hostility: "What's wrong with you people? You are at a Japanese restaurant, they have excellent sushi here! How can you order like that??? If you have never eaten raw sea urchin how can you say you don't like it! That's the kind of small mindedness that drives me crazy! You people have no taste! You order chicken and you don't even try sashimi but claim you don't like it! What stupidity..." (on and on). The wave of humiliation comes over me.</p><p></p><p>Seb finds negativity wherever he wants. For example, we were on the beach on Saturday-- he was having a delicious time scaring me half to death on his boogie board in the pounding surf. When I asked him to come out of the water for a moment (so that I could tend to Miles) he had a shouting FIT. Suddenly it was "the worst day ever". Seb's rages are short and intense. He was incomprably angry for about two minutes and then it was "the best day ever" all over again. When it was "the worst day ever" there was shouting, scowling, sand kicking. When it was "the best day ever" there were delighted giggles and hugs. The back and forth os maddening for all involved.</p><p></p><p>The negativity is a sore spot for me-- it is tied to his irritability and anger and intolerance for anyone who doesn't see the world as he does. I appreciate his "strength" of character on the one hand-- on the other I wish he could find a way to be his own independent self without dragging the world down.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="EB67, post: 57708, member: 3750"] Seb is mired in negativity. He has the distinct ability to find the dark cloud in the silver lining. In his case, he is not in search of "normal". In fact, he eschews "normal" and complans about the same-ness of everything and everyone. He complains about people being small minded and dull. I curse the day he picked up the words "small-minded"-- he throws it around alot. Seb's negativity is coupled with arrogance. The other day we were at a Japanese restaurant with friends. The kids, without exception wanted plain chicken, the adults ordered basic maki rolls. Seb landed all of them with hostility: "What's wrong with you people? You are at a Japanese restaurant, they have excellent sushi here! How can you order like that??? If you have never eaten raw sea urchin how can you say you don't like it! That's the kind of small mindedness that drives me crazy! You people have no taste! You order chicken and you don't even try sashimi but claim you don't like it! What stupidity..." (on and on). The wave of humiliation comes over me. Seb finds negativity wherever he wants. For example, we were on the beach on Saturday-- he was having a delicious time scaring me half to death on his boogie board in the pounding surf. When I asked him to come out of the water for a moment (so that I could tend to Miles) he had a shouting FIT. Suddenly it was "the worst day ever". Seb's rages are short and intense. He was incomprably angry for about two minutes and then it was "the best day ever" all over again. When it was "the worst day ever" there was shouting, scowling, sand kicking. When it was "the best day ever" there were delighted giggles and hugs. The back and forth os maddening for all involved. The negativity is a sore spot for me-- it is tied to his irritability and anger and intolerance for anyone who doesn't see the world as he does. I appreciate his "strength" of character on the one hand-- on the other I wish he could find a way to be his own independent self without dragging the world down. [/QUOTE]
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