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General Parenting
Stopping Negativity in its Tracks???
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 58045" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The trick is, to get them to articulate WHY they don't like something. "Because I don't like it!" is not a good reason. You might need to prompt to begin with, to help them find something positive and something negative. If they know you're not going to make them eat it/wear it whatever, they will feel more secure about participating in this.</p><p></p><p>For example, the prompting - difficult child 3 mightn't be able to say why he doesn't like something. "Because it's creamy" is a reason we accept because we know he doesn't like creamy textures.</p><p>We would then prompt, "What did you like? Apart from the creamy texture, did you like the savoury taste? Or the chicken flavour? Or perhaps you liked the colour?"</p><p>Sometimes they're scared that if they say they like ANYTHING about it, you will make them eat it, or you'll make them try it again.</p><p></p><p>This did mean, though, that we could get difficult child 3 to a cheese tasting and have some control over what he said. He likes cheddar, so when the cheese seller offered him a cheese which she said was like a sharp cheddar, he could have some advance idea as to whether he would like it. And once she realised he didn't like creamy textures she stopped offering him Brie but instead let him taste feta.</p><p></p><p>Just an example.</p><p></p><p>And the reward for difficult child 3 was NOT finding a cheese he liked (because he didn't really) but it was in being taken seriously by an adult. Suddenly, his opinion counted.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 58045, member: 1991"] The trick is, to get them to articulate WHY they don't like something. "Because I don't like it!" is not a good reason. You might need to prompt to begin with, to help them find something positive and something negative. If they know you're not going to make them eat it/wear it whatever, they will feel more secure about participating in this. For example, the prompting - difficult child 3 mightn't be able to say why he doesn't like something. "Because it's creamy" is a reason we accept because we know he doesn't like creamy textures. We would then prompt, "What did you like? Apart from the creamy texture, did you like the savoury taste? Or the chicken flavour? Or perhaps you liked the colour?" Sometimes they're scared that if they say they like ANYTHING about it, you will make them eat it, or you'll make them try it again. This did mean, though, that we could get difficult child 3 to a cheese tasting and have some control over what he said. He likes cheddar, so when the cheese seller offered him a cheese which she said was like a sharp cheddar, he could have some advance idea as to whether he would like it. And once she realised he didn't like creamy textures she stopped offering him Brie but instead let him taste feta. Just an example. And the reward for difficult child 3 was NOT finding a cheese he liked (because he didn't really) but it was in being taken seriously by an adult. Suddenly, his opinion counted. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Stopping Negativity in its Tracks???
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