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Parent Emeritus
Stories of parents and estranged grown kids...wow.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 641881" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>in my opinion...unless people who try to love you obviously abuse you, there is no good excuse for totally cutting somebody out of your life. Low contact is not the same as pretending the other person doesn't exist. It is the ultimate cruelty when a family member does it to somebody else if the person it is being done to does want a relationship with that person. It breaks hearts and minds and souls. Setting boundaries is not cutting anyone out. Saying, "You are dead to me. Don't call. I won't tell you where I live. I won't give you my phone number. You can't see me for any reason" is cruel and gives the other person no option.</p><p></p><p>If somebody is unsafe to our mental health or physical safety, yeah, we have no choice but to do it. But this happens sometimes when a differently-wired loved one decides we are everything evil that exists on earth. And sometimes a narcissistic or antisocial or borderline loved one does a cut off simply because you refuse to do something they want you to do. It is a form of blackmail. Then we are gone to them until/unless we comply. And that is not setting boundaries. That is just plain cruel. JMO.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 641881, member: 1550"] in my opinion...unless people who try to love you obviously abuse you, there is no good excuse for totally cutting somebody out of your life. Low contact is not the same as pretending the other person doesn't exist. It is the ultimate cruelty when a family member does it to somebody else if the person it is being done to does want a relationship with that person. It breaks hearts and minds and souls. Setting boundaries is not cutting anyone out. Saying, "You are dead to me. Don't call. I won't tell you where I live. I won't give you my phone number. You can't see me for any reason" is cruel and gives the other person no option. If somebody is unsafe to our mental health or physical safety, yeah, we have no choice but to do it. But this happens sometimes when a differently-wired loved one decides we are everything evil that exists on earth. And sometimes a narcissistic or antisocial or borderline loved one does a cut off simply because you refuse to do something they want you to do. It is a form of blackmail. Then we are gone to them until/unless we comply. And that is not setting boundaries. That is just plain cruel. JMO. [/QUOTE]
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Stories of parents and estranged grown kids...wow.
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