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Parent Emeritus
Stories of parents and estranged grown kids...wow.
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 641888" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>Easy to say unless you are immensely more intelligent and have all the wisdom and energy to deal with the mind-effing they do anytime you have contact with them. I wish we could drop this subject of "how hateful it is to go no contact" as it is extremely hurtful , I'll say to me, (it seems personal to thosw who have had to make this choice) which it is, because there are no other "right" choices to make. I know that you don't want to make this seem like it is personal, but when one is forced into living this way to protect their own health and mental health, seeks support and is told they are a rotten person because they will not even consider "low contact" well it just hurts. For those of us that have had to go with this option, there is a reason and it is not me that wants this situation to be what it is but again IT IS WHAT IT IS AND SHE IS WHAT SHE IS. For me, I always check with my therapist if I am making the right decisions for me. I don't need someone on this board or anywhere else to judge me or my situation. You have to walk a mile in someones shoes before you can understand why someone would go NC with their own child. There are VERY GOOD EXCUSES for going NC, like if you difficult child steals from you, manipulates you, tries to control you etc. Setting boundaries does not work with ALL difficult child'S and going NC is not a HATEFUL - "you are dead to me" It is pain and suffering on the part of the person that, for their own good - is forced to make this choice. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Unless you have been there/done that I think it's cruel OF YOU to say that a parent MUST at all costs continue a relationship or they are somehow evil or there is something wrong with the parent who makes that choice! My daughter had plenty of "OPTIONS" but they all ended in manipulation and control.</p><p></p><p>If it can not be accepted that SOME people need to go NC I will have to leave this board and go NC with it. I feel when the subject is raised and repeated of how mean/cruel NC is - once it has been said it is enough.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 641888, member: 18366"] Easy to say unless you are immensely more intelligent and have all the wisdom and energy to deal with the mind-effing they do anytime you have contact with them. I wish we could drop this subject of "how hateful it is to go no contact" as it is extremely hurtful , I'll say to me, (it seems personal to thosw who have had to make this choice) which it is, because there are no other "right" choices to make. I know that you don't want to make this seem like it is personal, but when one is forced into living this way to protect their own health and mental health, seeks support and is told they are a rotten person because they will not even consider "low contact" well it just hurts. For those of us that have had to go with this option, there is a reason and it is not me that wants this situation to be what it is but again IT IS WHAT IT IS AND SHE IS WHAT SHE IS. For me, I always check with my therapist if I am making the right decisions for me. I don't need someone on this board or anywhere else to judge me or my situation. You have to walk a mile in someones shoes before you can understand why someone would go NC with their own child. There are VERY GOOD EXCUSES for going NC, like if you difficult child steals from you, manipulates you, tries to control you etc. Setting boundaries does not work with ALL difficult child'S and going NC is not a HATEFUL - "you are dead to me" It is pain and suffering on the part of the person that, for their own good - is forced to make this choice. Unless you have been there/done that I think it's cruel OF YOU to say that a parent MUST at all costs continue a relationship or they are somehow evil or there is something wrong with the parent who makes that choice! My daughter had plenty of "OPTIONS" but they all ended in manipulation and control. If it can not be accepted that SOME people need to go NC I will have to leave this board and go NC with it. I feel when the subject is raised and repeated of how mean/cruel NC is - once it has been said it is enough. [/QUOTE]
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