I have so much on my plate right now, it's not even funny. I have my colonscopy this Saturday to check for colon cancer. That alone is enough to make me anxious. I usually look forward to Saturday afternoons when I can sleep in late and stay up at night and watch movies. I won't be doing either of those things this weekend. This week so far has been hell and I really need the break, but I have nothing to look forward to. Not only am I stressed about this darned colonoscopy, but my anxiety has gotten worse instead of better due to a crappy new medication I'm taking called Brintellix. It's yet another SSRI, and so far I hate it. I have been taking it for ten days, and not only have my panic attacks increased, but suddenly I'm also depressed when I wasn't before. Lots of people on my Facebook anxiety group swear by this new medication, and they are telling me to stick with it. They say the anxiety gets worse at first but then decreases dramatically. I am not so sure. I already don't have the best luck with antidepressants. I see my psychiatrist again next Tuesday, so I will see if he wants me to stick with it or try something else. (At this point I don't know what else he can give me. I've already tried all the other antidepressants!) Mentally I feel like crap, and I am still battling stomach pain, chest pain, nausea, and back pain, not to mention the constipation. I am still working through all of this, as I don't have any sick days left. Work has been hell. Five more weeks till graduation and the kids are going stir crazy. We have had an abnormally high amount of truancies and suspensions. Kids are ditching school and getting caught doing drugs off campus. Guess who gets to make all the phone calls telling these parents what their little angels are doing when they are supposed to be getting an education? Lucky me! Then there's difficult child, who still refuses to go to school. This alternative school has bent over backwards to accommodate her, including giving her a later start time and a shorter schedule. Her attendance is still terrible, so now they put her back on a regular schedule. She continues to miss the bus due to oversleeping. I have attempted to then pick her up on my lunch break and take her to school so she can at least make it half day, but then she refuses to go at all. Today was another one of those days. She didn't get up when her alarm went off, missed the bus, and refused to let me take her later. Next step is truancy court, and I am just waiting for the letter to come in the mail telling me she is on probation. Talk about stress! I just want summer like YESTERDAY and I still have 7 weeks left of work. Five more weeks till the kids are out of school. I just want to make it through the rest of this year in one piece. Good thoughts and prayers needed!