Stressed times ten!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, May 12, 2015.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I have so much on my plate right now, it's not even funny. I have my colonscopy this Saturday to check for colon cancer. That alone is enough to make me anxious. I usually look forward to Saturday afternoons when I can sleep in late and stay up at night and watch movies. I won't be doing either of those things this weekend. This week so far has been hell and I really need the break, but I have nothing to look forward to.

    Not only am I stressed about this darned colonoscopy, but my anxiety has gotten worse instead of better due to a crappy new medication I'm taking called Brintellix. It's yet another SSRI, and so far I hate it. I have been taking it for ten days, and not only have my panic attacks increased, but suddenly I'm also depressed when I wasn't before.

    Lots of people on my Facebook anxiety group swear by this new medication, and they are telling me to stick with it. They say the anxiety gets worse at first but then decreases dramatically. I am not so sure. I already don't have the best luck with antidepressants. I see my psychiatrist again next Tuesday, so I will see if he wants me to stick with it or try something else. (At this point I don't know what else he can give me. I've already tried all the other antidepressants!)

    Mentally I feel like crap, and I am still battling stomach pain, chest pain, nausea, and back pain, not to mention the constipation. I am still working through all of this, as I don't have any sick days left. Work has been hell. Five more weeks till graduation and the kids are going stir crazy. We have had an abnormally high amount of truancies and suspensions. Kids are ditching school and getting caught doing drugs off campus. Guess who gets to make all the phone calls telling these parents what their little angels are doing when they are supposed to be getting an education? Lucky me!

    Then there's difficult child, who still refuses to go to school. This alternative school has bent over backwards to accommodate her, including giving her a later start time and a shorter schedule. Her attendance is still terrible, so now they put her back on a regular schedule. She continues to miss the bus due to oversleeping.
    I have attempted to then pick her up on my lunch break and take her to school so she can at least make it half day, but then she refuses to go at all. Today was another one of those days. She didn't get up when her alarm went off, missed the bus, and refused to let me take her later.

    Next step is truancy court, and I am just waiting for the letter to come in the mail telling me she is on probation. Talk about stress! I just want summer like YESTERDAY and I still have 7 weeks left of work. Five more weeks till the kids are out of school. I just want to make it through the rest of this year in one piece. Good thoughts and prayers needed!
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Document your efforts to get her to school

    Call the school and report her as truant

    always get the name of the person you talked to

    keep all of this on a calendar

    draft what you will say to the judge in court....Let him know her issues ........ things that have been put in place to help her...... and most important that the person who needs to feel the sting is your daughter
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  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    No reason why you cannot still enjoy your weekend. After the colonoscopy you can eat and behave as normal. There are no lasting side effects. Once the drug wears off you do everything you always did. It's a test folks have everyday and then go about their lives a couple hours later. I had one a couple years ago and it was much easier than expected. The anticipation is much worse than the reality. It takes no time and then it's over.

    After the test, go home, change into your comfortable clothes and eat something special and watch a movie - life goes on.
  4. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    If you could change the way you see it, California? Could you see it as a gift, as some technological way, some miracle come true, to know, once and for all, that you are healthy?

    If there is anything ~ a little polyp or something ~ they will rid you of it right then and there.

    Bless yourself, and do it.

    Can you create a compressed, intensive time of reward? Twenty minutes: Music.

    Whenever you find twenty minutes, music. That will get you through it.

    Or maybe for you it will be something else: Find it.

    You can do this.

    Cherish yourself through it, I mean.

    That's terrible. I hope the medication begins working for you as it was meant to. No wonder you are frustrated and upset.

    I would be, too.

    That is not too long to wait.

    You can do this.

    You are coming through something very hard, and you are coming through beautifully. You are still working, still showing up, not giving up.

    Proud and happy for you, California. Very sorry this week has been so awful, but so very proud of you for standing up to it.

    Some weeks are just rotten. Every damn thing goes wrong.

    You must be having one of those kinds of weeks.

    They must have great faith in you, and in your compassion for these parents. That would be a hard thing to do, I agree.

    Pasa's advice regarding the truancy issue was right on. That is what you can do, and that appears to be the only thing you can do. So, take a deep breath, do what you can, and let go.

    With all my heart California, prayers for you and yours going up.

    And looks like there is enough left over for those poor parents whose kids are gathering and using. Oh, what a sad journey has begun, for them.


    Italics are just happening. Cannot seem to turn them off.


  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thank you ladies for your kind words. They really do help. Littledude's mom, after the sedative has worn off can I drink alcohol? One thing I really look forward to on Saturday nights at home with my boyfriend is having a couple of light beers and watching movies. The beer is totally relaxing and way better than any of the darned anti anxiety medications they have given me. I only drink once a week. I have a super strict rule that includes no alcohol during the work week. But I do really look forward to my Saturday night drinks. I would hate to give that up but I don't want to do something that's dangerous, either.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    The colonoscopy will be a breeze. By the time it was over and they woke me up, I was wide awake and ready to do anything. You can probably have your beer.

    I doubt they'll find anything. You're so young with no history of early problems in your family. You're just a worry wart, like I used to be and can still be.

    I would not like your job. Have you thought of trying to get another one?
  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    SWOT as a matter of fact the counseling secretary just made the announcement she is resigning. I am totally going to go for her job! I won't have to make calls, she receives incoming calls only and basically all she does is transfer to the counselors and make appointments. Best part is she works 11 months out of the year instead of 10 like me. You have no idea what a financial burden it's been every single year for me to do without 2 months pay. I totally I hope I get this job. I am going to have to go through all of the testing again so it's time for me to brush up on my math skills. Wish me luck!
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh, YES YES YES!!!!!!!! GO FOR IT!

    And you know we'll all be cheering you on! That would be awesome!
  9. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member


    Wishing you every success!

  10. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I just found out my colonoscopy is going to be at 6 a.m. Saturday morning! That means I have to literally only drink fluids as soon as I wake up tomorrow. I am going to starve at work all day.They also said I am going to have to wake up at 1 in the morning on Saturday and drink the second half of the laxative mixture. I am not looking forward to this AT ALL. Work tomorrow is going to be rough and I'm going to be starving. I hope this darned procedure is worth it!
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Yes it will be worth it. Either way, it will be worth it. Either nothing is going on that is alarming, or there is something to deal with, and it will be dealt with. Either way, you come out ahead of where you are now.

    You can do this.
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  12. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I am currently still at work and starting to get hungry. My plan was to stop at the store on my lunch break and buy some chicken broth and jello. I didn't get the chance. difficult child missed the bus once again and I had to drive her to school on my lunch break. I won't get a chance to stop by the store again till after work so I can get my broth and jello. I will have to wait awhile till I can eat it because I am dropping the kids off at their dad's for the weekend at 5:30. By the time I get home, it will be time for me to start drinking that horrid laxative. I am not looking forward to wasting an entire Friday night without food and running to the toilet every half hour, but it's what I gotta do. It will all be worth it as long as I get some darned answers.
  13. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    It's more like you don't get off the toilet.
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  14. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    How long does it take for the laxative to start working? I have to start drinking it at 6:00 pm.
  15. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Ugh, CG. I happen to be an endoscopy nurse. The prep is the worst part. Stay very close to the bathroom. The time it starts work by varies from person to person. After its all over, we tell our patients no driving, no signing important papers or operating heavy machinery. We tell them no alcohol. Be sure to drink lots of water with the prep. The procedure itself is usually a breeze. Don't be nervous.

    I had mine on a Friday. My usual Friday night routine is to watch my shows and drink wine. I didn't drink that night, but I did call my nurse girlfriend to thank her for doing a great job in putting me to sleep, and she told me later that I sounded high as a kite! So you may not even want the beer that night.

    As for t he Brintellix. My son started on this in March. He started on 5 mg and has worked up to 15 mg. It has helped him. He has more energy, No frantic borderline panic attacks anymore. Sleeping a little better. At last after 12 years an antidepressant that has a positive effect. I am so sorry it hasn't t helped you. Everyone is different. You are under so much stress! Try t o take really good care of yourself.
  16. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Post sedation...I was a very happy camper and slept really well that night without having to take any melatonin.
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  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry you are so stressed. In case you don't know, most newer antidepressants take around 6 weeks to give you the full effect. They don't work like xanax or other benzos that work immediately, but they are FAR safer and don't risk addiction or other legal problems. Given past issues, that may be a plus. But if you are bipolar, antidepressants are usually NOT a good idea long term as they trigger mania and mood swings. They can be a HUGE problem if you are bipolar and not really really stable on other medications.

    Please keep a mood diary as you take this new antidepressant. It will really help your doctor see what is going on. It is important and doesn't take a lot of time.

    I hope you can get the counselors' secretary job. It would be stressful at times but might be a much better fit for you. You can always look at openings in other schools also if you really hate this job.

    I hope the test goes went well.

    This is a high stress time for every school secretary, esp the attendance ones, because of the end o the year nonsense. Keep telling yourself that you can get through it just like you have every other year.
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  18. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well I survived the colonoscopy and there is no cancer. All I have is a few hemmeroids which the doctor says is normal. I am only partially relieved. I still have all the symptoms of ovarian cancer, and that type of cancer is much more deadly. I have read up extensively about ovarian cancer, and all my symptoms fit, including the sudden constipation, pelvic pain, back pain, and nausea. My next appointment will be with the gynecologist. I am a month overdue for my annual exam anyway, so it's time for me to call and get in.

    The colonoscopy in itself was a breeze. They put me totally out (which I didn't want but they said that's all they offer) so I literally slept throughout the whole thing. The sedative wore off rather quickly and I felt absolutely fine afterwards. I could have easily driven myself home, but they insisted I bring somebody so my mom drove. After I got home I cleaned house and did laundry as my usual Saturday afternoon routine. They said no alcohol so I played it safe and didn't drink, even though I felt perfectly fine.

    The doctor gave me the okay to take a small dose of Xanax that night so I had one and I felt pretty good. Still, what a waste of a weekend! The 24 hours before hand was terrible with the awful prep I had to do, and the next day I couldn't have my usual beer and stay up late. But if anything, I do have peace of mind. Now I am hoping I don't have to go through another one of these darned things till I'm at least 50!
  19. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    You're doing so well, California. It doesn't matter why we are afraid of things. What matters is that we face them.

    You are doing so well. Very proud and happy for you.