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Stressed, trying to detach!
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<blockquote data-quote="4now" data-source="post: 631496" data-attributes="member: 17356"><p>Thank you MWM and COM for your replies. I am fed up and I do realize that I can not change my difficult child, it is just so much harder with our children. And you are both right that I need to go back to Alanon. I haven't been in years and I know it works. I grew up in a very dysfunctional alcoholic home and had a brother a difficult child who lived with my parents into his 40's until my parents passed away. I always swore I would never do THAT with my child. I get the irony! </p><p></p><p>Am I fed up enough? I think so. I am tired of operating out of fear! my 12 year old is my grandson whom we raised and adopted when since he was 5 months old. both of his parents were and are difficult child's and his mother who was also bipolar ( not my daughter, but we tried to help her) died in a horrible train/ pedestrian accident when 12 year old was only 2. It was sad and devastating for her mother. I live in fear of going through something like that with my own difficult child's so I often react to the threats, but is time to stop.</p><p></p><p>MWM you are right that the only person I can control is my self and I try to remind myself of that daily, but I need the support of Alanon and maybe counseling. It is nice that so many of you " get it". My husband is very supportive but friends and family don't understand why I don't help more! Ha! Now I. Have ER nurses trying to guilt me. Enough already. </p><p></p><p>I am happy to have the support offered here and appreciate all of your comments and support. It is so nice to have this spot to come to and try to gain some wisdom. </p><p></p><p>there is a popular saying going around that goes " Not my circus, not my monkeys" that I need to remind myself that difficult child's problems are his. thanks for both of your replies and support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="4now, post: 631496, member: 17356"] Thank you MWM and COM for your replies. I am fed up and I do realize that I can not change my difficult child, it is just so much harder with our children. And you are both right that I need to go back to Alanon. I haven't been in years and I know it works. I grew up in a very dysfunctional alcoholic home and had a brother a difficult child who lived with my parents into his 40's until my parents passed away. I always swore I would never do THAT with my child. I get the irony! Am I fed up enough? I think so. I am tired of operating out of fear! my 12 year old is my grandson whom we raised and adopted when since he was 5 months old. both of his parents were and are difficult child's and his mother who was also bipolar ( not my daughter, but we tried to help her) died in a horrible train/ pedestrian accident when 12 year old was only 2. It was sad and devastating for her mother. I live in fear of going through something like that with my own difficult child's so I often react to the threats, but is time to stop. MWM you are right that the only person I can control is my self and I try to remind myself of that daily, but I need the support of Alanon and maybe counseling. It is nice that so many of you " get it". My husband is very supportive but friends and family don't understand why I don't help more! Ha! Now I. Have ER nurses trying to guilt me. Enough already. I am happy to have the support offered here and appreciate all of your comments and support. It is so nice to have this spot to come to and try to gain some wisdom. there is a popular saying going around that goes " Not my circus, not my monkeys" that I need to remind myself that difficult child's problems are his. thanks for both of your replies and support. [/QUOTE]
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