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Stressed, trying to detach!
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<blockquote data-quote="Snow White" data-source="post: 700063" data-attributes="member: 355"><p>Sorry to hear you are still in the 'cycle' with your son. It is heartbreaking. We keep hoping that "this time will be the last time" and that they will "get it". Sadly, for some of our Difficult Child's, it doesn't come soon enough.</p><p></p><p>As I read through your posts, I can only hope that I don't end up at the same place as you and your family are at. It makes me want to stick to the detachment I'm working on now. Our daughter is 25 but could easily be 33 and doing the same thing...especially if we keep doing the same thing. I'm trying hard to change the habit. And yes, if your son is threatening suicide, call 911. Don't respond to all of the demands. We took the phone out of our bedroom. It's downstairs so that we can't hear it during the night. Answering machines are wonderful! Sometimes Difficult Child leaves a message; other times not but at least we get a good night's sleep.</p><p></p><p>AppleCori gave me the best advice with regard to being afraid as a parent:</p><p></p><p><strong><em>The best parenting advice I have ever heard was this: don't parent out of fear.</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Fear of what the adult/child will say or do.</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Fear of what others will think/believe/say.</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Fear of standing up for ourselves and having others disagree.</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Fear of doing the right thing, because it is the hardest thing</em></strong>. </p><p></p><p>I hope that you and your husband can stay strong through this. Do something nice for yourselves (and your grandson) - you deserve it. Keep posting and we'll keep supporting you. {Hugs}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Snow White, post: 700063, member: 355"] Sorry to hear you are still in the 'cycle' with your son. It is heartbreaking. We keep hoping that "this time will be the last time" and that they will "get it". Sadly, for some of our Difficult Child's, it doesn't come soon enough. As I read through your posts, I can only hope that I don't end up at the same place as you and your family are at. It makes me want to stick to the detachment I'm working on now. Our daughter is 25 but could easily be 33 and doing the same thing...especially if we keep doing the same thing. I'm trying hard to change the habit. And yes, if your son is threatening suicide, call 911. Don't respond to all of the demands. We took the phone out of our bedroom. It's downstairs so that we can't hear it during the night. Answering machines are wonderful! Sometimes Difficult Child leaves a message; other times not but at least we get a good night's sleep. AppleCori gave me the best advice with regard to being afraid as a parent: [B][I]The best parenting advice I have ever heard was this: don't parent out of fear. Fear of what the adult/child will say or do. Fear of what others will think/believe/say. Fear of standing up for ourselves and having others disagree. Fear of doing the right thing, because it is the hardest thing[/I][/B]. I hope that you and your husband can stay strong through this. Do something nice for yourselves (and your grandson) - you deserve it. Keep posting and we'll keep supporting you. {Hugs} [/QUOTE]
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