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Stressed, trying to detach!
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<blockquote data-quote="tmatt" data-source="post: 700142" data-attributes="member: 20874"><p>I'm new to this forum and am so glad to have found it. I'm sure appreciating the detachment article and the advice given about not parenting out of fear!</p><p></p><p>My son is 18 and just moved out at the beginning of September. He's been struggling with a major depressive disorder since he was 15 and has tried a number of medications but decided to "self medicate" instead with pot. He hasn't graduated high school but is working at the local grocery store and is paying his own way. I'm always amazed at how mean he can be toward me though.</p><p>"You've never been there for me"</p><p>"You don't love me"</p><p>"You've never been a mother to me"</p><p></p><p>He's making the detachment pretty easy for me because he's asked me to not be in his life. I cried for a day but have chosen to continue living. I have to do that. Choose. Life. For me, for my hubby and for my 14 year old daughter. I'm not bank rolling any of his life EXCEPT for his therapy. I've decided to continue to pay for that as long as he's attending.</p><p></p><p>Like many of you, I keep hoping that maybe today will be the magic day where he will return to his former, happier self. I think that's been the hardest - letting go of the "dreams", of the "expectations of normal". </p><p></p><p>I wish none of us had to walk this path. It's hard. It's exhausting and it can break a heart a million different ways.</p><p></p><p>Please keep sharing your stories. I think I will find strength and guidance through this community. I'm from a very small community and resources are few and far between. I love my son. I, however, also love myself and will remember that I deserve good things too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tmatt, post: 700142, member: 20874"] I'm new to this forum and am so glad to have found it. I'm sure appreciating the detachment article and the advice given about not parenting out of fear! My son is 18 and just moved out at the beginning of September. He's been struggling with a major depressive disorder since he was 15 and has tried a number of medications but decided to "self medicate" instead with pot. He hasn't graduated high school but is working at the local grocery store and is paying his own way. I'm always amazed at how mean he can be toward me though. "You've never been there for me" "You don't love me" "You've never been a mother to me" He's making the detachment pretty easy for me because he's asked me to not be in his life. I cried for a day but have chosen to continue living. I have to do that. Choose. Life. For me, for my hubby and for my 14 year old daughter. I'm not bank rolling any of his life EXCEPT for his therapy. I've decided to continue to pay for that as long as he's attending. Like many of you, I keep hoping that maybe today will be the magic day where he will return to his former, happier self. I think that's been the hardest - letting go of the "dreams", of the "expectations of normal". I wish none of us had to walk this path. It's hard. It's exhausting and it can break a heart a million different ways. Please keep sharing your stories. I think I will find strength and guidance through this community. I'm from a very small community and resources are few and far between. I love my son. I, however, also love myself and will remember that I deserve good things too. [/QUOTE]
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