stressful Sunday...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ksm, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Today difficult child got upset with her sister because she wouldn't get out of her way in the kitchen, took too long to butter her bread and hand the container to her, and maybe just generally upset that her sister breathes and lives in the same house as the rest of us.

    Right before leaving for church, difficult child announces that she will NOT attend the same Sunday School class as her sister. (difficult child is 8th grade, and easy child is 6th grade - and this year they have 6th to 8th grades together. This won't happen again for 2+ years when both are in high school.) I hope I live that long.

    I didn't feel well, so husband took everyone to church. Waiting for him to get home and let me know how it went. The sunday school teacher has emailed me at the start off the ss year and told me she was going to tell both girls to "leave their sisterhood" out of the class. Some sundays, even the other students have complained that difficult child should treat easy child with more respect.

    I hate this... difficult child is SO competitive when it comes to little sis. If truth be told, difficult child has lots of things going for her in the way of looks, figure, etc... but her negative attitude is a big put off. easy child is shorter, heavier, but has a kind heart and people enjoy being around her. Both are intelligent and above average in many ways, I just can't seem to help difficult child feel better about herself. Her therapist has said that she releases all her hate and bad feelings on people in a way to feel better, but she just keeps filling up with more. I had tried to explain to difficult child that these bad feelings is like having a sore, that she keeps picking the scab off so things won't heel and ends up hurting more.

    I am trying to interact with her and show more empathy, but it sure is difficult. KSM
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    That sounds like a tough one. My boys are twins and sunday school and public school have been informed that they NEED to be kept separate. It is a lot easier to work with both of them when they're not in the same room.

    As for the self-esteem issue, I totally understand. difficult child 1 is sooo jealous of everything difficult child 2 "has" or "can do". We're working on that issue too.

  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I know how you feel. easy child can do very little right in difficult child's eyes and is always there with a put down if he feels like easy child is getting something more than he is getting. It's very painful for me to watch because I (like every one of us) want our kids to be along. difficult child says that it's perfectly alright to tell easy child that he's an idiot, but heaven forbid easy child try to do that difficult child. Good gravy, you would think that the world is going to end!!

    I hope that their Sunday school class went better than their morning at home did and that the rest of your Sunday is less stressful.
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. I would hate anything that put difficult child and his sis in the same room, I think easy child/difficult child(sis) would flat out refuse it unless she could avoid him at all costs.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    That is really tough. Hang in there...
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    difficult child 1 is always jealous od one of his sibs. Right now its easy child 1. One of the therapists explained that he gets jealous of the one that is passing him up emotionally at the time. He gets better as the sib gets way higher than him and can start to manage him.
  7. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    Carson's 11 year old sister is a trigger for him. Claudia is an instigator. She thinks it is funny to see him throw a fit. So she is Queen at irritating, aggravating and frusterating him.

    They are also in Sunday School together this year. Fourth and Fifth graders. Today Claudia told me he embarassed her badly. He sat too close to a boy who kept moving a little away and Carson kept moving his chair closer. Then Carson laid his head on the boys shoulder and kept saying "you all are going to pay".

    I am going to talk to his sunday school teacher and see if he can go to the Third grade class--his step brother is in the class every other weekend, and his step brother is his only male friend (he has a <girl> friend at school).

    After how Carson acted in "big church" today? I'm debating even going any more. I know he was distracting to all around us (and I was embarrassed and exhausted).

    Big's so hard to figure all this out
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    What are these girls getting out of Sunday School if the behavior is that much of a disruption for the class? How important is it that they attend? How does easy child feel by the end of the class? And if easy child ends up feeling badly....Is it worth it?

    In our household, we have had to separate the kids for EVERYTHING. So now - DS has a completely different circle of friends than difficult child....and this lessens her ability to torment him. So while it is a pain in the has also made a world of difference for DS. His quality of life has vastly improved. And while difficult child is still unhappy - she does not have as many opportunities to take it out on her brother....